I've always had a fear of thunder and lightning, because a roaring thunder usually is so light, it actually shakes me. So i think i got less than 3 hours of sleep, i kept tossing and turning, drifting in and out of sleep. Indeed a very horrible experience, blah.

I was pondering about myself, like why am I doing so much things to get back my once really perfect life, with the best friends, with almost like an unlimited spending spree whenever on whatever i wanted back then, and what not.

I can't say i loathe the things or people around me, but neither do i feel like they make my life some wonderful one because it's either we, including the people around me are still lugging onto the past as well, or that we're all angsty people.

But then again, how do you actually get back the once awesome years? With so many changes, it's like almost impossible. BUT with the help of certain people, it is possible, but not when these people decides to ruin your plans instead.

And that is my point.

Because i strongly smell a rat going to my 'cheese', and then gobbling it all up, ruining it all up, before i have a chance to take it back again.