Wee I'm back in Audition and I love MJJ ^_^

Hi, actually, I have not really 'recovered' from whatever 'depression' I'd been going through.

Don't you give me that condescending face, whatever, bitch.

The sight, the thought, the voice, the mere SCENT of certain morons is enough to put me off. Put me off going to wherever that I might see them, take for example, the nearest shopping centre. In this most honest case, SCHOOL.

But this time I'm not gonna de-stress by spending money or torturing anything/anybody. I shall just face it, it's all part and parcel of life. If I don't ever get over this phase then I'll really die a horrible death in future without my godfather.

After the you-swore-at-your-mother incident, I finally understand and really feel my dependence on him, financially, and emotionally. I reckon I should get a life and face whatever shit life throws in me. After all, it IS my life. He spoils me rotten. With him I really don't give a damn about my phone bills. "Aiya, nvm lah, he will give me money to eat, more money for good food somemore," and whatever that is wrong in my life, "nevermind, because there's a godfather"

What the fuck man.

Moreover those creeps are not deserving of me 'sacrificing' my loved ones. They are too cheap.

I dread art lessons, i mean, the extras. I understand that it's an effort made to make US put an effort into our coursework but at times I really think I don't need it. Not because I'm doing it the photoshop way(I don't even fucking think I can do it, thanks to the people around me. _|_ Look at all the negativity I am receiving and thus giving), but just because, "hey, it's my life. I'm prepared to screw it."

Life should be spent without hopes, without thinking "aiya, got direct admission, sure can get into poly".

Life should be spent like this "SHIT! I GOTTA STUDY! OR ELSE I WON'T MAKE IT!" and you continue scaring yourself. As a result, due to the stress, you develop cancer, gastric problems, and hair loss as well. Slowly, you turn to stick thin and your skin sticks to your bones. One day your entire body shall collapse, like how they blow up a building. Yes, wonderful.

That's the masochistic shit of life.

Thereby, I shall try to stop crying or at least tearing every night(thank god my eyes are not swollen in the day -.-) and yeah, FACE IT.

Not run away, not by finding comfort in throes of people and then dumping them once you're alright, not by spending money, et cetera.