I feel like slapping myself for being such an ass because i have lost my camera pouch, and there's a spare battery inside for it.

My camera has been rendered exposed because of the missing pouch, and thus it has many many scratches.

Recently, i wanted to bug the god-of-fortune to send my camera to this company to crystallize it, which means to decorate it with swarovski crystals. For a simple design it's about $140, and i found it 'cheap', because i seriously dont feel the pinch.

I only feel it after i get what i want.

Everything has a time, and i probably should be spending less time with Photoshop, and only continue in October/November because that's when i'll officially be the designer for ________, which i cannot reveal yet.

Hence, i should study hard and not bug the god-of-fortune all the time for whatever luxuries i need. I totalled up the price of all the gadgets and whatever he spent on me, and it estimated to be about a whooping twenty thousand.

WTH?!

And i should aim for a better O level aggregrate so i can get admitted into a poly design course without even applying for DPA, because DPA is more for the people whom are not so book-smart, and it's not easy to get in as well.

No point working so hard to design just to earn money to spend on luxuries such as branded clothings. I'll have plenty of money in future, if i study hard now.

But i love design too much.

Speaking of which, i am sick of design, BUT I STILL LOVE IT. I look at artworks by other artists, although i don't exactly know the methods used, i can roughly make out the steps. =X

It's like, i've not tried it myself, but understanding how others went through it is enough to put off the urge in me to try.

WHICH IS BAD.

I know very well i still love design.

On a sidenote, i'm equally pissed as i am with that posessive girl when that posessive girl questions my illustrations. "What's this?", "What's that?", "Why is this so weird one?"

Let me put it across.

ART never had to be LOGICAL, the expression of ideas from an individual never had to be what is perceived in reality, isn't it? So shut your mouth.

And it's ILLUSTRATION, IT'S A DRAWING, it doesnt have to be so logical.

This is what i call a dead mind, and surprisingly it is from the posessive-copycat girl.