Was on the phone with Dewi a few minutes ago and she shared with me these few jokes.

This guy had his hair burnt, and he went to the doctor's to have his wound dressed up. Dressed up it was, in WHITE bandage.

What is he now?
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A cotton bud.

This man died and he went to Hell, over there in hell, the King of Hades asked him what he would like to be in his next life. He wants to be something that has wings, and sucks blood, without being in the dark. What is it?
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A SANITARY PAD!

^That one cracked me up like hell.

Okay i must go do my homework already.

MY DAD is one f-ing f-ker. Sorry for being so rude but there's nothing i can say but to say that because he has just bleached my brand new pair of school songs into this awful yellowish pair.

BLAH.