I just encountered HELLLLL.

Because my mom is awfully sick and giddy, she told me to go and buy some canned food, like camphells(whatever) soup. So i bought 2 cans, THANKFULLY.

Went home and started cooking. I forgot the grilles on the stove were in such a shape that it won't be able to hold a round bottomed pot properly.

AND SO, the soup poured ALL OVER the stoves.

Then i frantically cursed everybody, used like 3 rags to hurriedly clean the area, and also burnt my own hands because my hands touched the holes where the fire comes out from, so it was really painful.

I threw the rags into the chute immediately, and proceeded to take the 2nd can to cook it. While cooking, i washed the dishes and threw rubbish away, and when i opened the chute, THE RAGS WERE STILL THERE.

Wah lao, i had to use this long wooden stick which was used to hit me last time to push everything down into the seemingly bottomless pit.

.........And my mom thankfully didn't sniff anything fishy.

Otherwise she will preach to me about the importance of food and money. *faints*

What clifton wished me about the computer is INDEED coming true, in a week's time. Nabei, by that time i'ld already have half of my 1 week holidays gone! How to enjoy?!

That explains why i am in such a shitty mood, because i expected them to be efficient enough and deliver it to my doorstep by this weekend.

If there's anything you want to ask me about Photoshop, ask me on MSN or something, cuz i really don't know what to teach you, seeing that Photoshop has so many components about it, and i'm not strong with certain aspects as well, but i'll try to help.

Anyway...as requested..

This is your tools palette, i have highlighted and labelled the very basic tools which are commonly used for cropping images.

A - The rectangular/Elliptical marquee tool - Selects pixels(or images) in the shape of a circle,oval, square, rectangle.

B - The Polygonal Lasso Tool - Allows you to select images/pixels POLYGONALLY, which means this tool DOES NOT allow you to select curves, only straight lines. However, the freeform lasso tool or the magnetic lasso tool allows you to do so.

Example :

Please zoom in. If you HOLD the Shift key down when using the polygonal lasso, it enables you to form selected lines/shapes at either 45degrees, or straight lines (180 degs). However, the freeform lasso requires to you 'draw' in order to select, so the lines can be very edgy, and i don't really advice anybody to use that tool.

C- The crop tool - Self-explanatory

D- The Move tool - For you to shift/resize layers(Images)

E- The Magic Wand tool - For you to select images faster, but not in a very good way because the Magic Wand is only advised to be used when you select something that has the SAME colour.

Every colour has a colour code, for example, black's colour code is #000000, even if 2 colours are very similar, they might not belong to the same group and thus you won't be able to select the entire thing, unless you change the tolerance of it.

Note : The tolerance bar can be found at the top, once you click on the magic wand tool you'll know.

Example :

The magic wand tool definitely cant select the one on the right.

F- The Slice tool - Works like the crop tool i think.




Now, for example we want to select this arrow and then paste it somewhere else. (Sorry i'm lazy to go find pictures of myself or whoever and then use that as a source, PAPA.)



So first, we'll select it. It's up to you how you want to select it, by the polygonal lasso tool, magic wand, etc. (But for this case we CAN'T use the marquee tool for sure)

After it is selected(with the flashing dotted lines around it), hit Ctrl+J key(Copies the selected image), or Shift+CTRL+J(Really CUTS out the image, leaving a blank).



Then you will see that you have a new layer, called layer One or something in your layers palette (Which will be there each time Photoshop loads)

Right now, you should have the image where you want this arrow to be pasted on OPEN. After which, drag the cut out arrow(in the layers palette) onto the other picture that is opened in Photoshop. You will see a black line as you drag it there, then let go of your mouse.

*Assume that we want to place the arrow on the red dot*
Your arrow will most likely be out of place in the opened file. Select the MOVE tool, then drag your arrow. As you select your move tool, you will notice a dotted, grey boundary box which indicates that you can move your arrow.

And then, you are done.

-----------

I know you will most likely be very confused and frustrated, and if you want to give up, i have nothing to say. I don't deny that photoshop is tough, but once you understand the basics like layers and all, you should be able to do quite well already.

...But if you're doing this just for the sake of challenging the person behind this 'tutorial', which is me, you should just fuck off.

School today was fun, but then i fell sick in the end.

The class was littering Miss Kong's homeroom during English lesson because it was the trainee teacher's last day, and we had a free period to mess around.

I cannot believe i eventually joined in. <_< Was attempting to place eraser bits on the heads of people who were sleeping, throwing many pieces at a time, picking up from the floor(LOL RECYCLING), and yadda yadda.

I like to play Pickleball, okay, laugh all you want okay. I am not saying i am an athletic person, neither am i a couch potato. I just don't like that sport anymore, that's all.

Social Studies was....fine? The quiz Mdm Koh set was pretty easy. Could answer almost all of them.

Chemistry, YAWN.

Maths, HAHAHAHA. Jonathan brought this stupid toy gun to school, which has little plastic balls as bullets, however it was difficult to load it into the gun as the holes inside were to small for the bullets. It was amusing to watch Jonathan attempt to shoot, press the trigger many times, only to have ONE bullet coming out, and even in a very slow action. And also the expressions of people who got hit. =X

Physics was even funnier. I paid attention, and i also played a minor role in disturbing people like Auntie Haiqal and Erwin, who didn't react much to my pokes. <_< There was this part, he unknowingly took my eraser, and then he started to throw bits at people.

Learnt about Newton's 3rd law about action-reaction, then Abdul was asked to bang the table and then Mrs Chang's question to him was how does he feel, and he yelled "PAIN AH" in a very amusing fashion. Seriously, you will laugh you ass off during 3D's physics lessons.

Another one. Was doing Physics workbook, then we had this slip of paper about our project work. Erwin answered the questions with instructions from the paper, like "You should not spend too much money on the project", like WTH.

After school, went opposite, with Felicia. Gosh, was like running across because it was pouring. Even my T-shirt got rather wet in a matter of seconds? So i struggled back home.

Contrary to Haiqal's recent post about a screwed bus driver, my bus driver was so nice. He told me to alight at the front because there's more shelter at the front of the bus stop. (:

Came home, CLEANED THE HOUSE, cleaned my room, mopped everywhere and threw tons of rubbish away again. Fell asleep and fell sick. I have a cold.

I'm very happy because he has ordered the system already and i expect it to be here by this weekend. (:

On the phone with Dewi :

Me : Eh die la, i'm already 52kg, and that was like, in the beginning of the year? I'm so heavy. Can't imagine how my boyfriend will carry me.

Dewi : You know weddings right, the groom always carries the bride and then swings her around right? I think the best man and the bridesmaid will do that.

Me : HAHAHA WAH LAO DAMN YOU etc etc

Then the conversation drifts off to some really heavy people.

Me : Wedding right, nobody can carry her. Maybe an elephant can. HAHA

Dewi : HAHAHAH, camel also can mah.

Me : The poor camel's humps will be concaved, or maybe the humps will seem higher cuz she's too heavy.

*HAHAHAHAH*

And then to ridiculous things such as...

Fifi Lee May Ee

Lee Peachy

Dewi Fifi Purwati

Fifi Tan* (My son's name, surname can be changed though.)

Tsk.

I am so proud of myself. I just cleaned my entire room, changed the sheets(after many months since 'my room' has been uninhabited, maybe for computer usage only) and threw away quite alot of useless junk and arranged my study desk again. =D

All within 2 hours, and i'm not zonked out already. When i came home i was like a dead log but i forced myself to clean up, so i think i wasn't really tired. Just fatigue.

Lessons were all funny and full of jokes. The funniest things i can remember is Mrs Chang mentioning Jasmine Kan's name and then the guys actually added on "Kan", and then another said, "Ni", then another said "Na".

I hope i can pass my literature test this time, because i studied, and i can at least vomit some phrases i memorised. I scored 9/12 for my SS test, which i think i am very proud of because i spent about 2 days trying hard to memorise the 2 essays, and maybe a little bit of luck.

Mrs Tan complained that 3D's chemistry test results sucked, and i thought i failed, but turned out i scored 35/50. Maybe it's not really that high compared to the pros, but i'm really glad. In Miss Prema's class i was always scraping the passing grades. Oh well, maybe i'm just used to Mrs Tan's teachings.

In case you don't know, Haiqal's blog was spammed by the twin-hotties, Yuzhen and Yizhen. Initially I suggested to Haiqal that i pretend to be Yuzhen, and that he shuts up about it. So i went to tag as 'Yuzhen', with a fake email add like "yyz@hotmail.com" and then said "Erwin i like you". HAHAHAHA

Then there was an uproar and stuffs, and i saw somebody tag as Yizhen. Haiqal said it wasn't him, and it wasn't myself as well.

...Till this morning.

I found out. Erwin impersonated Yizhen. LOL.

You ain't no J. (Or is it Jane?)

This sounds really fucked up, attention-seeking, etc etc.

But i really love design.

I hope i can recover from burnouts like how i recovered now in the future, and may I become like the Hejz one day. He is a really good artist with his own beliefs, and he stands up for his rights as well.

Cheers.

Experimental

This is how a picture will look if you do image>desaturation.

This is how the picture will look if you mess with filters/curves/layers.


----

And i just learnt that desaturating an image does not give the B&W effect. HEHE.

Because of my sudden cravings for my favourite chocolate-biscuit snack, i headed downstairs, in my school uniform. Yes, i am a dirty little girl.

Then the lift door opened, and i walked right into a buzzing funeral. I used the word 'buzzing' because it seriously looks more like a wedding instead. There were people playing mahjong, LAUGHING, and even a bunch of teens my age chirping and swearing once in a short while.

It was as though i stepped out of some limo, and into the red carpet(there was even an aisle, how dramatic), as though i was ZHANG ZI YI because the wind kept blowing. Maybe i'm the deranged version of it, but i could feel weird stares.

So i continued my brisk walk to the provision shops...until.....something BLACK and ticklish seemed to have ran towards my skirt and then disappeared under it. My leg felt itchy.

To my horror, it was a COCKROACH.

AT THAT POINT, i don't know why i didn't scream(maybe because of the Zhang Ziyi incident), but i swung my leg real hard till the damned pest fell to the floor and scurried off.

Goodness. I should really watch where i walk.

Speaking of which, amongst all my HDB blocks, a funeral in one of the blocks is like a harbinger of death because a day after my block had a funeral, the neighbouring block had as well! And i predict, in less than a week's time, another funeral will take place.

3 years ago, in the beginning of the fresh year, my grandmother passed away. She was like the one to get the 'ball' rolling, because after that the blocks seemed to be taking turns to hold funerals.

Probably shows Singapore has a declining population. I read an article in the papers today, and it mentioned something like the population might not be a problem, it is whether the parents of these newborn wants them to be the citizens of this country or not.

Very true.

You and I, we both know we're suckers and competitors, but in a way that i am ahead of you. I try not to be competitive because we're afterall friends, but let me warn you. Incurr my wrath, and i'll go full speed ahead so you'll never catch up with me.

This is some good revision for Macbeth. And for those of you who left your book in school or anything, here's the URL to the whole play. Without translations though.

Today was a good day.

1)I paid attention in lessons
2)I did not cheat in mother tongue lessons(although i reckon i'ld still fail, but who cares, i don't like mandarin.)

Speaking of which, i don't get my mom's logic of you-must-pass-mandarin-because-you-are-a-chinese. Does that mean a toilet-washer has got try to be the best washer? Like maybe he/she can scrub off accumulated dung that has been there for 10days within 5 seconds or what? *Rolls eyes*

Art lesson was damn fun because Mrs Yeow wasn't here, and Mr Chu relieved us(sounds so bloody wrong), then Mdm Koh, and then Mrs Chang.

Tongaun said YueMei cannot draw a sexy lady because she doesnt have the figure(or something like that). Then Sivien started throwing tubes of poster colours which belonged to Mrs Yeow at TongAun. Then i joined in, and we threw around till one tube of it dropped on the floor where Mrs Chang sat. So she wanted to find out who was the culprit, whilst WenHui covered up for us. HAHAHA.

Was at the bus stop with Caryn when we saw 'The Empress'. Immediately freaked out and ran to the seats to hide. =X

Come to think of it, Clifton's well-wishes for me might really come true. "A new computer with 1GB of ram under your bed..."

HEEEEE.

Haiqal is right.

I have always felt the DRIVE, the PASSION for pimply.....







to bully him.

Don't even get me started on how much i HATE people like the above. Haunted at night with stupid nightmares, and even waking up to find dictionary's word of the day being 'CLEMENCY', what a joke, God.

And fuck it okay, don't call me VERB, it's either VERBIAGELOVER, VL, Mayee, Fifi, or designer(LOL).

Neither do you call me 'vegetable-kid'.

I am done with Miss Poon's teachers day card.

PHWEE, it sucked. It was merely a remake of my flowery series, called Floral(series number here =.=)

Shall show you all another day cuz i'm feeling a little shy today.

Because it's a card, only half A4 of the page is printed, but my damned printer has this unchangeable setting, which is that it gives you a 'free' 1cm border before you see the actual image!

So it looks pretty weird with the white borders, and i'm hesitating to slip the extras away, but then that'll look really ugly. =/

So i was telling quite a number of people about what's happening, and Haiqal the ass said :

Buttahara MwG:// says:
small size ppl cant receive big things

Verbiagelover is very busy so please don't message or else die a horrible death tomorrow says:
HAHAHAHAH

-----
I think i am feeling very much better because i have recovered from Photoshop Burnouts already, seeing that i can do new artworks and even transform my old works into seemingly better ones.

I sound like i have sex with Photoshop, don't i?

Call me a show off, but getting 107/100 for Isketch has got to be one of the best things for the day.

My highest before this was 93/100. GOSH, i am so blooooody happy.

I have been eating very regularly. I can have 7 chwee kuehs at 8am, then go for a heavy breakfast at 10am, and then indulge in a coffeebean's pure chocolate, with an extra dollop of whipped cream even more!

How ridiculous.

Dewi says it must be due to i am stressed, i think so too.

I have been studying productively, because 1)It'll do myself good 2)It'll do myself even better because i get rewarded for scoring good grades.

I've been trying to stop eating to lose weight because i think i'm going to weigh like 60kg, although i don't even look like i weigh 50kg. Secondly, the money saved can be spent on clothes from The Box, which i LOVE very much.

So eating less = New clothes = Increased confidence = Happy mayee

HAHA SO RANDOM.

Okay going back to study now.

I'll make you remember how you treated me, and i'll prove to you that i am no pushover.

I am not as pathetic and desperate like what you see in your eyes, although you can tell me we're forever friends or whatever shit, it's not the case in your heart. Sometimes i wonder why you are so conceited, maybe because you lacked parental love. *Snigger*

I'll show you that i am not deemed as 'no future' just because a designer career is a pretty filmsy slip. I know i might not exactly be rich(gauging by my skills against my age and versus the rest of the designer's skills and all), but i believe as long as the TALENT and PASSION exists, everything will be okay.

I am not so book smart like you. I am not planning to go for a routined life in future, not just JC, Uni, get married, fuck, and have 2 children and then continue living happily in some expensive house.

Neither do i fit into your mindset of whatever's a 'sophisticated being'. -Rolls eyes-

You think too little about graphic design, and of course, my aptitude for it. Given a span of 2 years, are you even able to clinch deals? Are you even able to be on standard with the 'new' professionals? I doubt not.

Because in your mind, and in your life, everything is about routine.

I'll make sure you don't see me as dirt in your eyes and kick me away anymore. Why should I bow down to people like you? You took my kindness and niceness to you for granted, and you'll watch it.

Change.

An artwork i truly enjoyed making.I felt so much for this artwork, i even created an impromptu poem for it.

We used to be like long lost lovers,
conversing in a language of romance in our own world,
our relationship like a pearl.

We used to be like best friends,
doing things together,
lively were our chatter.

We used to be like husband and wife,
working hard for the family,
loving our children endlessly.

Till the horrible monster, Change came,
Everything was tame.
In our selfish pursuits for fame,
we choose to forget our flames.

Is it too late to regret?
Names we forget?

I am like such a wild, mad kid. Having an extremely sucky morning at the ICA, followed by a tirade of boring events, and eventually coming home to face an angry mom sucks.

She is lamenting about us not washing our clothes, having an untidy room, yadda yadda.

I DON'T LEAVE CLOTHES LYING AROUND after i change.

My sister does.

And she does so in MY ROOM, so i get all the scolding.

Look, if she wants to play the game of i-want-to-sabo-you with me, i am game.

Not trying to be proud or whatever, the god-of-fortune sides me.

And i have power, therefore.

I can change handphones, she can't, and she gets thoroughly jealous.

*Evil plan*

Please don't be angry if you read this entry.

I want N73, in fact, i'm like head over heels in love with it the moment i saw it on Nokia's website.

Since i entered secondary school which was also the time i was showered generously with 'materialistical-love' from the god-of-fortune, i had this hateful drive in me. Or should i say i'd always been hateful, maybe because of the way my friends treated me in primary school when i was stricken with the horrible eczema which caused me to be negatively introverted.

I was definitely one hell of a pampered ass, i could ask for what i want and get it within a week, even if it's a costly mobile phone then. Spending $300 in a week was no tough feat, neither was basically opening my mouth and asking for however much i wanted.

Because of that, it nursed the hateful self in me. Most of the time, whenever i own costly stuffs, it is generally to make me feel better with an inflated ego. Because i know i am definitely fortunate and i kind of have the wealth(power) to have what i want, i often look at my enemies with despise. I'ld always think they won't be able to afford what i have, which is true when i was younger.

I suffer from inferiority complex i think. People with huge egos are actually cowards inside because they refuse to admit to the world that they are misers.

And i am a miser.

Don't ask why i am not showered with much love from my Dad. Don't even get me started on how irresponsible as a dad he is.

Promise me you won't throw up if you read further.

I think i can taste my gall or bile.

I JUST THREW UP.

I didn't have dinner, all i ate was potato chips and coke, followed by a little bit of milk.

An hour or so later, i felt really horrible.

Giddy, and stomachache.

I stood at the sink, and then i regurgitated.

No wonder i found it weird when the milk tasted funny.

Because, it's only a few days before it's expiry date, which is pretty sick if you ask me.

PFFT.

Corrinne May does the local music industry proud. I love her songs, so meaningful.

Safe in a crazy world -
I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop Believing in me.

It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees for you
You cradle me

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again

You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

------

Also, i am beginning to believe all the downfalls i had are actually blessings in disguise.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Buttahara MwG:// says:
his gf not pretty

Buttahara MwG:// says:
that day his friend showed us

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
his girlfriends

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
all also ugly

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
because he is ugly as well

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
^^v

Buttahara MwG:// says:
includin u ?

Buttahara MwG:// says:
JK

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
...

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
i was NEVER his girlfriend

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
HAHAHAHA

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
NOW YOU KNOW WHY I REJECTED HIM

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
CUZ I DONT WANT TO GO ONTO THE LIST OF UGLY GIRLS

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
ALTHOUGH I AM ONE

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
HAHAHAHAHA

Buttahara MwG:// says:
LOL!!

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
HAHAHAHA

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
my boyfriend sure very hot one

Buttahara MwG:// says:
haha mayee ugly!

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
graphic-designer one

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
LOL

Buttahara MwG:// says:
mine will be angmoh wit figure of 34-24/26-HOW TO MEASURE HIPS?

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
LOL

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
YOUR ANGMOH GF

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
WILL LOOK LIKE A DUMB BELL

Verbiagelover. I am smart. says:
HAAHHA

Buttahara MwG:// says:
LOL!

Buttahara MwG:// says:
hour glass la

I hate going through such Deja Vu. Those who knew what i went through 2 years ago should know what i am referring to.

I hate this.

Miss Kong(Ala 'Auntie Adeline') is really sweet.

Because i 'misplaced' my Macbeth book, and i'm currently printing them out online - which is a pain in the ass because i have to keep putting the printed sheet back into the printer for 2 sides.

THEN SHE PRINTED ALL THE 5 ACTS OUT for me and Nahendran.

She said something like she feels like i'm her relative or something because i keep calling her 'Auntie Adeline'. Hahahahha, so sweet!

Mathematics test was uhh.....i cheated.

And i lost my dictionary, CURSES okay. No choice but to go get a new one soon, pfft.

By the way i think my Chinese teacher is really a psychopath. Have i mentioned that she has touched me almost everywhere? She touches my LEGS when i am not sitting properly, and my head if i turn around and talk to people.

The worse thing today, was that my skinny waist got grabbed by her! It was after mass jog and then i was lazing around at the stairs, then she came and grabbed my waist and tried to drag me to walk up the stairs!!! What's more i was so sweaty! She touched my face before, and i was sweating, then i said "I'm sweating leh"(In chinese), but she didn't seem to mind.

EEEEYER!

By the way, you had better reflect and stop being so attention seeking, BELIEVE me when i say even people like the geeks in my class are beginning to observe you and they tell me you're such a good pretender, tsk.

In your devious little attempts for attention and love from the boys whom definitely think you're ugly(Or so they say), bear in mind that i'm watching you.

You have the power to bend my downward lips into upward lips. =( to =), really! When i received your answer to one of my problems on the way home in the taxi just now(albeit still fuming with dumbfucks), i smiled, and i cheered up. YOU POWER OKAY.xD

Like the past you are still able to make me happy with your little gestures, even a smile! ((((=

My CME project is shit.




In order to ensure that i have a really good phone in the near future, and i really get the phone of my dreams, i will do a proposal. Filled with information about the phone, and even a persuasive article at the end!

Clifton, thanks for the compliment.

I have to agree with him on the photoshop thing.

The FUNNIEST thing i've ever came across, is to accept to do 'requests' for people, when you are just a beginner. A REAL beginner, like you've only touched Photoshop a week ago.

I'm not the sort who do things that way. To me, i'll only accept requests when i'm really good, when i know i won't come up with some basic things that comprises of text against a background with some little brushwork for the default brushes.

You have to LOVE what you do, not do what I LOVE. You certainly don't design for the sake of designing, because you won't go anywhere. Neither do you design for the sake of challenging. the verbiagelover.

I kind of breezed through SS test, seeing that Madam Koh could actually tell Laichoon that i studied(He was struggling), and i wrote close to 2 full pages!! =D

Could hear all the disappointed sighs and wtfs when the question that came out was so unexpected.

Lessons were all pretty boring.

Went for the excursion 'to' Pulau Bukom. Bullshit i tell you. We didn't even step onto the shores of that island. Practically said "Huh, finish already ah?" to Caryn and Jo. The ferry merely took a little tour round the waters of Singapore! With a 'tour guide' as naggy and slow, it didn't help at all.

What a waste of money, school.

And then i just realised, what i thought i missed was actually not what i missed.

Pictures.

This one is a fucking classic i tell ya.

You can only see Fifi's tiny ass because he's falling off my head and that was really ticklish. Can't you see? Look at how he messed up my hair with his sharp paws. <_< onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/666/3088/1600/Fifi%20cute.jpg">
I cropped my face away because i looked like a freak.



In case you wondered, Fifi and peachy are still alive and kicking and still nibbly(for fifi).

I am so irritated.

I used an emoticon once, and then you are using it all the time after i did. I stopped using it. I told you to stop using it as it was annoying. Annoying because i feel like you're a real copycat.

If you're unhappy with the people i mix with, tell me. But then again, don't expect me to boycott them because APPARENTLY they're much better company, seeing that they're much much more sociable and probably more jovial.

All of the above bring me to the epitome of blood-boiling anger.

But there's one thing, one thing that pisses me off so much, i feel like strangling you.

Look, you irritated the shit out of me, and it is not like i didn't drop hints that you really should reflect. I DROPPED SO MANY FUCKING HINTS. And when i cannot take it anymore, i will shout at you, in your face, being really direct.

Now, you definitely don't go around bitching about me and saying I COPIED YOU because...it's the other way round.

I don't listen to what sort of reasons made up by my very kind friends like you're trying to fit into my 'environment'.

BULLSHIT OKAY.

Let me repeat that i am a person who cannot take silent challengers. Whereas for my close friends like F and D, we're all competitors for english and literature, and we admit it. You don't secretly find out my marks from other people, that's downright underhand.

I couldn't stop them from rolling down my cheeks the moment i browsed through the dates in my phone's calendar. How do you remain as strong as iron when you are exposed to various sorts of blows everyday? Even traffic light posts get corroded over time, let alone a person, who has endured for so many, many months.

The wound is crying out in pain even more when i picture all the happy memories like a slide show, slowly turning into the sad everyday scene you see today.

Physics test was easy, but i reckon almost everybody would fail since nobody paid attention during her lesson. Got scolded by Miss Poon for cracking dirty jokes. =X

I just realised i have been very muddle headed recently. I can unknowingly mumble the names of the people i hate, and then say, love mayee or the other way round. Geeee.

Not to mention, i banged my head against the table during the test because i was laughing too hard and i knocked into the table. Damn pain okay.

I just realised how dependent we are on technology.

God,people even communicate through computers when they're merely a room apart!

The sister's computer is in the living room and she needs to print something but the printer is connected to my computer instead of hers so she'll ask me to unblock her on msn(LOL) while she sends me the file.

Heck, she even thanks me via msn, and we talk through msn as well!

How ridiculous.

When we are just a few meters apart.

It also probably shows that people are reluctant to communicate face-to-face for fear of complications arising. Most of the time i have conflicts with my sister, whenever we talk.

I have a shady childhood memory, and no, it has got nothing to do with getting molested or abused, it has got something to do with the way i see people and the way i communicate with people and the way i think of course. Thinking back of the way i thought sends shivers down my spine, and i cannot believe this past of mine is such a well-kept secret, not even my parents know.

I bet i won't even tell him when i love him so much.

While looking into the mirror during shower, this silly thought came to me. That i will still be in love with him even if he turns very ugly(Since he already is ugly, freak.).

Pfft.

Textbooks and workbooks opened up, overlapping one another. Sheets of notes and blank papers littering the entire room, with stationery lying everywhere.

Not to mention i had been studying for SS test and for my physics test and also working on my art project, and everywhere's developmental sketches and portraits.

What a busy sunday.

I am reaping the seeds of playfulness i sowed during every Physics lesson currently. Don't understand a single thing about acceleration,velocity, etc etc. *Yawns*

Shouldn't have focused on poking Haiqal.

On a very positive note, I am finally beginning to see the magic of Adobe Illustrator. *Beams*

Supposititiously you come, and go, leaving behind trails of information that's unreliable of course.

Hello, blogger beta.

Just as i was about to blog about something depressing, i received an email. SO, I AM HIRED. Although i'll only start work in about October/November? I'm on the staff list, HAHAHAHAHHA SO COOL =X But my profile is crap i tell you.

Once again, i feel the pressure, like, what if i don't do up to standard again. So random.

I just experienced hell, of course i created the hell that i went through.

*Phone rings*
Me : Hello?
Male voice (In a cheeky tone which my cousins use sometimes) : Hello?
Me (Slightly amused) : Who are you?
Male voice : Who are you? (Still in the sickening tone)
Me : WHO ARE YOU?!
Male voice : Who are you?

And then i hung up.

God, i felt so scared. <_< Then i wanted to dial for Dewi, and HE WAS STILL ON THE LINE, HELLO HELLO-ing!!! Pfft, so i hung up.

This is where the extreme madness begun. I ran all the way out from the room where the damned phone was in, and i began to hop around frantically and touch Fifi and peachyboy. The phone rung, i laughed and i panicked.

He has stopped ringing. Who the hell is that man?!

=S

Sivien thanks for feeding my ego. It's very much appreciated. HAHAHAH

To my literal inner self, figuratively.

Why on earth are you so much like me? No wait, you were not like me in the past, you've changed to fit in!

By that, i am referring to your sudden new found interest in literature, in the things that i love, such as graphic design, typography, and even the way i talk and dress!

But then again, you wouldn't be a part of me if you wasn't a clone. (Bear in mind i am speaking about the FIGURAL meaning of this whole entry.)

You might argue that you're also photoshopping, and by right you can use the term 'photoshopping'. Yes, i agree you can, but why did you even REACT when i reprimanded you for being a clone? Isn't that evidence for your downright uncreative copying?

If you want to 'fit into' my life, i suggest you stop whatever you're doing.

...Because i don't like you 'that way', as a close friend, aka a part of my life.

GO GET A LIFE. (Pun intended)

I know i sound very ironic in this entry, but bear in mind, it's all figurative. (:

All of a sudden, it seems like it's still so long away to my 2nd photoshop anniversary.

That was a random thing.

I am fearful of challengers and challenges.

Although i have been reassured by many people that i am the best, and most of my challenges are like peanuts compared to myself, i still fear.

Simply because i cannot take the challenging environment for granted. So what if my english is like the epitome of the best of the best? So what if my photoshop skills are a talent and it is hard for newbies to overtake me?

There is still a tiny possibility that i'll lose out.

To become the top of where i am (OR so i think) requires taking over people too, and they were 'overthrown' because they took what they had for granted.

Proactiveness is the best.

It is never about worrying too much.

I was almost late for school, late in a sense that i WILL be late if i miss the 855 bus that i take to school everyday. 855 takes forever to come, and i'm surprised i got ready in 13 minutes. Usually i wake up at 6 and i'll only be ready till 640. =S

I screwed my NAPFA test up. Seriously, i've lost the drive to try my hardest because there's no longer the person there who keeps encouraging me to run during mass jogs and during PE lessons. Not anymore.

Lessons were all so drop-dead boring.

Dewi and I talked about the friendship, about a friend changing himself/herself just to suit your environment. If i ever see a person changing to be like me in any way, i'll never think that way, call it pessimism, but it really seems gross to me.

How can you say it's in the name of 'friendship' when you get imitated almost out of everything? From your interest, from the way you talk, from the way you dress, you call that changing just to suit 'your' environment?

Bullshit.

More like some downright uncreative copying going on there.

Don't even preach to me about "Because you're like good friends, and good friends always have similarities". I understand that logic, only if my friend was like that since the day i talked to him/her. Not AFTER.

I'm so disgusted with the person mentioned. Hor, Gerlaine? HAHA.

If you're so keen on competition, i am game.

Because in the first place i was already 100 steps further than you, and your challenging presence will just spur me to work even harder.

When i'm already WAY better than you.

TSK.

Experimental.

Please zoom in.
An attempt at Pete Harrison's usual style of illuminating only one part of the picture. I've seen one of his works with the concept as the above, and it only took him 5 minutes.

It took me about 5-10 minutes.

And screw my brains. I deleted the PSD and JPG version of my most recent experimental work!!!! It was a massive collage that took me 2-3 hours, although it didn't turn out exactly as striking as the rest of my works, i enjoyed creating it.

Then i deleted it unknowingly.

God save me.

I am so surprised that i survived lessons without dozing off, although i yawned many times, especially during yeehiang's lesson.

My ass wasn't owned yet, but i believe it will be very soon because our names were taken down, pfft. Hopefully she'll just make do with a phonecall to my mom, or better still my dad.

My dad doesn't give a damn at all. He'll just go "Your teacher called today and said yadda yadda" and then go back to his room. For my mom, i don't see why she'ld hit the roof since she was still pretty mild about my sister being a habitual late-comer and homework-doer.

Plastic surgery has always been considered a beauty taboo, but then again, if you're against artificial beauty maybe you shouldn't even brush your teeth or do the slighest things to make yourself more approachable. However, i'd prefer to stick to moderation. Everything in moderation makes things better. (:

Then comes the you-should-love-yourself-factor, for if you're happy with yourself you probably wouldn't even think about modifying your facial structure. I'm for sticking to moderation and being happy with yourself. (:

Because to me, plastic surgery is becoming more and more like a social norm, and of course everyone's conforming to it. Reality is a warped one. I believe parents would feel hurt if their children want to change the way they look, wouldn't they? I would.

I should have aspired to be a plastic surgeon instead. Nevermind, i'll be a pixel surgeon. xD

On a shorter note, i am still utterly disgusted to hear that i look like someone who's always with me. Damn it, the situation doesn't get better when the irritant decides to go all out and be like me as well.

Regarding my engagement with Singapore's best graphic designer, seriously, i am merely joking about it, although i seem to be really serious on the outside. (:

Having been through so many heartbreaks for the past 2 years, i've come to a turning point. I am still so damned-bloody-young, and i don't think i should even come to the topic of BGR because i am like, so damned-young and my grades are not good at all.

PLUS, i've made a point to only like graphic-designers.

On a relevant note(i think), i am NOT at all shy to say, i've not kissed anyone yet. =)

I don't see what is so funny about not kissed anyone when you're 15. You ignorant people with brains the size of a 10-cent coin might probably see it in a light like "HAHA! Nobody wants you!"

It's up to you to think that way, but bear in mind...

I don't want to anyhowanyhow kiss somebody, please. I'm saving myself for the rightest person, because my ex-cell group leader and mates from CHC lent me this book when i was about 11 or 12, it was "I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris.

Does it ring a bell in your head?

I've also been told by my ex-CGL that we ought to see our body as a temple of Christ, and that each time we have a fling or a crush on somebody, we're giving a part of our heart away to that person, and what if we have nothing left for our husbands? Hmmmmm. x))))

It's your PURITY, yo.

Sometimes, no matter what we do to prevent something from happening is always futile. Especially when we're trying to convince a huge mass of people.

It all becomes so complex, because there'll be so many critics out there.

I don't understand why most people are trying so hard to prevent global warming from happening, by mass media. Television, radio, prints, you name it. Why the hell are they spending such a great amount of 'precious'(how is it precious when they're indirectly wasting it) to try and prevent the ultimate disappearance of Greenland from happening?

All along, Man has always opposed Nature and tried many ways to 'outwit' Nature. With the fast advancement of technology comes a price, a price which will have to be paid.

Man has always perceived themselves to be savants, and of course the top of the entire food-chain isn't it? Then let them try their best to challenge nature again.

I've always thought we should just stop trying to prevent Greenland from disappearing, because it is inevitable, and it's up to us to adapt to whatever changes that come already.

Even death.

It probably is too late to make amendments on your side, and for me to take the initiative to start talking again.

Nevertheless, i had a great time with you guys.Love!

Aside from the mundane affairs of school life, i must say i am really worried about tomorrow, about how my ass is going to get owned by YeeHiang for not attending the chemistry experiment on titration.

Tsk!

Also, i'm going to fall in love with a graphic designer next time.

Graphic designers only, with a good grasp of the language EnglandEnglish.

Not some chapalang ordinary guy on the streets with a face as plain as trees.


I don't understand why the locals have to pay $100 to enter the casino which will soon be built in this little chili padi land. If we're doing this to improve the economy, why are we siphoning money from our own people? Doesn't really help much, since the people will still get poorer(assuming they paid the $100 admission fee and loses money in the casino).

Then the locals would rather go to other countries where they are spared from such a costly admission fee, and then boost up other countries' economy instead.

Yikes.

Today was a BLAST, well for me anyway. ^^v

Went to Chinatown MRT station and then met Dewi. We hoped Peiqin could turn up, because she said she couldn't. Just as we were lamenting about how much we wanted Peiqin to turn up, Peiqin, Felicia and Caryn surprised us. LOL

It was a really pleasant surprise i guess.

So the 5 of us lingered around, and then Jieneng and Daryl joined us. So we went to Dewi's mom's food stall.

Dewi, your mom and dad's cooking kicks ass. =D Not to mention we had additional entertainment from Dennis, dewi's 5 year old brother. WAH PIANG, he was damn noisy and hyper okay. He mistook Mary for Talleah, and i for Mary. =.=

Ate and crapped, then i lied and said i needed to go buy plaster because my killer shoes were giving me blisters, and then Caryn and PQ tagged along. The truth was that we wanted to go buy a slice of cake for Dewi.

So we walked and walked, bought the cake, and walked even further to find those poppers, where you pull a string and then the confetti and all shoots out. By the time we found the poppers we RAN ALL THE WAY back to the shop because we needed to go off.

Wah i tell you i almost fell down at OG okay. <_< Now i have alot of blisters.

After the celebration, Dewi's little brother was throwing a tantrum and crying and clinging onto her because he wanted to tag along with us. The scene was so funny. Dewi holding on a to slice of cake with a little boy clinging to her.

Caryn, Mary and I wanted to grab hold of Dennis' hands whilst Dewi dashed off, wah lao eh. Dennis ran all the way after Dewi after that. Thankfully, her mom carried Dennis away later.

So we walked all the way to Clarke Quay. Was talking/camwhoring, and then this lady approached Mary Dewi and I for $$. She was selling some bracelet thing. One for $3. Each of us gave her a dollar or something without taking the bracelet.

Reached a tunnel and then CAMWHORED, HAHAHA the guys were so bored. Continued to walk and talk, walk and talk, then more camwhoring.

After that the 2 guys left with Dewi, and Felicia and PQ left together, while i cabbed home with Mary.

I am so zonked out.

Paula Deanda - Doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)

See you got me all alone
Waitin right here by the phone
For you to call me,
Just to here
Your voice tone
I keep on wondering if you was even
Feeling me, I keep on wondering if
This was even meant to be
Tell me imma waste of time, boy
You showing me no sign, is it cuz u on
Ya grind, cuz you're always on my mind

I keep on wondering if everything you said was true
I keep on wondering if you were really coming through

Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much
Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)

I'm out with my girls tryna have a good time
And you know I'm looking fly tryna meet sum other guys
But it gets hard sometimes cuz there ain't no one just like you
I try my best but I can't shake this thing u got me going through

All i can picture is the color of your eyes, and the way u make me smile
I ain't felt this in a while,
But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion
Chaos and confusion but I'm not gonna let it ruin

The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem, sometimes I
Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

The way I feel about myself cuz I got self-esteem, sometimes I
Wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)

(Baby Bash:)
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'm gon holla at cha

Ronnie Ray all day
Women in the hall way, Ev day losing track of the people tryna call me
Don't take this the wrong way, I been havin long days, doing it, moving
Round the town wherever I'm getting my song played

Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much

Now here I go again blowing you up,
And my girlfriends keep telling me
I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby am I doing too much (too much)

Doing Too Much

I'ld hate to stereotype.

Pardon me, i dislike 'tough-girls'.

The sort of girls who only know how to play games(whatever dota audition, maple, yadda yadda) and when they hang out with the penis-species, whom generally are gamers, they seem to be so proud about the fact that they're the rose among the thorns(pun intended) and therefore talk loudly about the game.

You'ld probably find me ridiculous because it is perfectly normal for a girl to hang out with a throng of penis-species, but no.

I'm driving at the cocky-attitude of such girls.

It disgusts me even more when they say they don't need makeup, they don't need skirts, and all the like. It's disgusting when they think they're some pretty girl when they only have huge bulbous eyeballs, a humongous nose, and of course thick lips, which comes from a big mouth that comes from yelling so loudly, nabei.

If you want to argue with me(or other girls) about natural beauty, you should go read xiaxue's entry. She mentioned about getting au naturale, if you want to talk about being natural, which is, don't even brush your teeth. Don't even bother to comb your hair, just sleep, wake up, and go to school. No bras no panties, etc etc.

You know very well who you are.

I've tried telling you straight in your face how much i cannot stand you, and of course i was hoping that you'ld change. But you didnt.

You probably should do some reflection if your boyfriend even said your friends look better than you.

If you want to talk to me about a guy some day liking you for who you are, ask yourself. Are you THAT unique? Holy fuck no. You even behave like a guy.

I'm engaged.





I get a kick out of hallucinating and yet at the same moment know that i am just pretending but making it seem like it is real.

So i wish i really marry/date a graphic designer in future. Life will be so cool.

I am bored of design, but i still love it.

I've tried to create new artworks, but i just can't.

It's like i know the outcome of it, because i've done it before.
It's like i've been through that kind of oh-my-gosh-it's-so-pretty high, because i've done it before.
It's like i know all about design, because i've done it before.
It's like i am so lazy to design, because i've done it before.

I tried looking at more portfolios to generate ideas, and i really, am lazy to work on it. Partly because i can tell the methods the artist used.

My passion for design will still be there, otherwise why the fuck am i being so frustrated because i am bored with it?

Just that i really need a new brain.

I used to experience with Photoshop all the while, but now, i really feel like i know everything.
I guess i am taking my curiosity for granted this time.

BUT REALLY, I FEEL LIKE I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT PHOTOSHOP.

Roar.

I have cooled down.

However, here's a word of caution.

I'm not a princess, and i can't possibly have you beheaded if you annoy me.

However..i can do things that can hurt you damn fucked up ego.

That's if you show me you're dumb.

Let me daydream about my future designer life.

Oh, you had better believe me about me wanting to join ____'s company and then marry him.

If only he is younger, if everything really proceedsas planned, MAN, my life will be so perfect.

A designer-boyfriend = A designer-husband = Make collaborated graphics instead of love (LOL) = Designing firm.

I tell you, my life will seriously be revolved around design ah!

Our wedding won't have a wedding dinner, hah! We'll just have a flash wedding, heck, it's going to be 'live' and everyone will watch it from their computers. No wedding dinner, LOL. There'll only be the 2 designers, somewhere, exchanging rings and vows.

I've always thought it'ld be best if your spouse is in the same profession as yours. I'm already very annoyed when people see me doodling, and then they ask me "Why the eyes like that one?", yadda yadda.

I REPEAT, for you people with tiny, twitish minds. Art was never about conforming to the 'right' things. You don't perceive art as just the expression of 'right' things and forget about creativity.

AND IT WOULD ROCK SO MUCH, to do collaborated artworks with the people you like.

Okay enough time to go get ready and hit the streets.

I'll be changing my layout soon, since i've been told that this blog loads rather slowly. =X However, it works fine for me in firefox.


Seriously, check out newwebpick.com!!!

Alot of cooool portfolios. Man, i'm blown away.

Link
Link

I am lazy to recall everything that happened since 6.05am. I really enjoyed crapping with Dewi, Felicia and PQ at macs. So horny. =X

I'm tired to blog.

There's one thing about 'a greater sin'. I've always believed that there is such a thing as a greater sin, because there is really a stark contrast between murder and theft. Theft, at least no lives are taken away, while for murder at least one life is taken away each time.

If all the sinners were to face equal penalties, which are heavy ones because they have to be 'fair' to the murderers, how would the thieves feel? Probably so darned unfair isn't it?

AND THAT IS HOW I AM FEELING.

I don't know why i am given the death penalty, when the things i did, was just merely, to blog. Neither do i understand why a 'murderer' can just get away all the time.

I have proven my theory on you-can-do-well-when-you-actually-feel-like-you-won't. I was really struggling during my english test and not focusing at all, and when i got my results back today, YAY!

Highest in class, 24/30. =D

Why are you so conceited by webs of arrogance, pride, and lies? And when you realise i know about your doings you come and leave a comment and then you explain to me why you did this and that? It has always been the case.

You leave me feeling so unwell, as if i shouldn't have removed the scab of your wound. Honestly, I cannot forget about the past. Because it begun like a fairytale, i cannot swallow the miserable and bitter ending of it.

I know i'll have to take this bitter medicine sooner or later and recover, and it's now or never because i'll definitely cry my eyeballs out when The End comes.

I am so confused..i don't know why we're living in different worlds already. You can be so nonchalant about things, AND AGAIN, covering up for your actions. Don't you feel a thing?

But then again, you probably won't feel it..

because you're conceited.

www.newwebpick.com

Check it out. Awesome portfolio sites await you.

Click is a must-watch.

I have plenty of ideas for designing, but seriously i say this.

I AM LAZY.

So lazy to design.

My techniques are all the same, and all the artists out there are doing the same thing as well.

It's either 3d interface, or some brushing with gradients, and there you go.

Designing is such a tiny scope, or so it seems.

RAWR.

Guys on friendster are some fucked up beings, generally.

I received a email from this Jun Kuan guy, what, Juan Kuan(Donation) ?

Apparently, he sent yours truly a "Can we be friends?" message.

I found it weird. SOMEHOW, my memory tells me he has tried such a lame pick up line on me before. I dug through my message inbox, and VOILA!


In OCTOBER2005 last year, he sent me a message, with the exact content as what i received just now.

I dont know what to say....

REJECTION.

I dont think he likes me. Look at how hard he bit. Nabei.



I am so angry.

Because my connection seems to be VERY fucked today. Thanks to *hub.
Not to mention, i am beginning to hate flash.

My favourite website, thefwa, has flash too. It lags alot, and sadly the portfolio websites it showcases are equally laggy, because everything is flash.

Which sets me wondering, which client has the patience of a mother to wait till everything finishes loading? The client would probably just shut the website down when it is just 50% loaded, like i did.

One website of which i visited loaded a person with the speed a second past, and it took more than a minute to finish loading. To access the rest of the sections, it takes another 1percent per 1 second to finish loading.

GOD, what a blood sucker.

I think shiftattack is the best. Everything is simple and neat and loads really quick.

By the way, i am really bored of Photoshop. Can somebody please sponsor me otherstuffs like 3DstudioMax and Cinema4D? I love design very much still, but it's just that i am bored to design with photoshop.

Everything is the same, i can roughly estimate the outcome and all, and it is REALLY BORING now.

Illustrator? Like how the fuck do i mess with it when it is not installed into my own computer, but into my sister's, which my mom thinks we will share but apparently that bitch stinky woman has passworded her computer, so that i wouldnt be able to access it, and she can have the whole creativesuite to herself.

Roarrrrrrrrrrrrr.

My hamsters, especially Fifi, are VERY comical ones. Sometimes i wonder if they are taught by Justina to be such comedians.

The way Fifi sleeps is some joke.




More photos coming later. The screwy blogger is not uploading my ultra-resized pictures.

I caught the Lake House today. NOT at all a touching show, heck.

I am not really in a good mood, because the annoyance i got while watching the movie, combined with the thoughts i have been having recently that came from reading the blog of a lady who is getting married but has a sad past such as breaking up when the wedding date was already decided with the previous man made me realise that kids nowadays are some fucked up shits.

I agree that i am screwed too, i bug for the gadgets i want and all.

What i'm going to hit on today is about REALISM.

We are youths, we're not even 18, and here we are, talking about this 'love', that 'love', how hard it is to get over him/her/it, how painful the breakup was, how much we miss our ex-es and crushes, how much we feel like they're THE ONE.

HOW SURE CAN YOU BE? It is possible that it can start from secondary school all the way till you get married and procreate, but it is always good to be CAUTIOUS, and quite reasonably, realistic. Not every boy you date might be the one who'll sleep next to you after marriage, and it's NO POINT, NO FUCKING POINT, to harp on to whatever beliefs after the break up.

AND OF COURSE, NO showing your ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend whatever angry faces or horrible attitude, or doing things to her to please yourself. What you are showing is your immaturity,and it does not, i repeat, does not show your love for that ex-boyfriend/girlfriend at all.

We're STILL YOUNG.

So many dreams to pursue and goals to fulfill and think about.

Yet we're doing the things the adults do?

Isn't that a unjustified?

I feel like slapping myself for being such an ass because i have lost my camera pouch, and there's a spare battery inside for it.

My camera has been rendered exposed because of the missing pouch, and thus it has many many scratches.

Recently, i wanted to bug the god-of-fortune to send my camera to this company to crystallize it, which means to decorate it with swarovski crystals. For a simple design it's about $140, and i found it 'cheap', because i seriously dont feel the pinch.

I only feel it after i get what i want.

Everything has a time, and i probably should be spending less time with Photoshop, and only continue in October/November because that's when i'll officially be the designer for ________, which i cannot reveal yet.

Hence, i should study hard and not bug the god-of-fortune all the time for whatever luxuries i need. I totalled up the price of all the gadgets and whatever he spent on me, and it estimated to be about a whooping twenty thousand.

WTH?!

And i should aim for a better O level aggregrate so i can get admitted into a poly design course without even applying for DPA, because DPA is more for the people whom are not so book-smart, and it's not easy to get in as well.

No point working so hard to design just to earn money to spend on luxuries such as branded clothings. I'll have plenty of money in future, if i study hard now.

But i love design too much.

Speaking of which, i am sick of design, BUT I STILL LOVE IT. I look at artworks by other artists, although i don't exactly know the methods used, i can roughly make out the steps. =X

It's like, i've not tried it myself, but understanding how others went through it is enough to put off the urge in me to try.

WHICH IS BAD.

I know very well i still love design.

On a sidenote, i'm equally pissed as i am with that posessive girl when that posessive girl questions my illustrations. "What's this?", "What's that?", "Why is this so weird one?"

Let me put it across.

ART never had to be LOGICAL, the expression of ideas from an individual never had to be what is perceived in reality, isn't it? So shut your mouth.

And it's ILLUSTRATION, IT'S A DRAWING, it doesnt have to be so logical.

This is what i call a dead mind, and surprisingly it is from the posessive-copycat girl.

Uh, unhappy birthday to me, HAHA WHATEVER.

I didn't screw the ASSembly up, or so to me. I was some nervous shit when i greeted the principal and all, i was trembling okay. =S

Accounts was simply some slacking lesson, and so was recess because i didn't have the appetite to eat.

I scored 83 marks for Chinese paper. I cheated was academically dishonest for that brief hour. The highest was even 98! Wo shi zhong guo ren.

Art lesson. Im beginning to like art. I used to hate art and question my decision to choose Art instead of D&T, i chose it because it was the fundamental subject for admission into design schools/colleges/etc, if i am not wrong.

And now, i love art lessons. =D

Went out to lunch at pasta's with bel and then came home.

Hehe, going out tomorrow. =D =D

Many thanks to the birthday wishes, (: Caryn is sweet. =D

Kevin is damn nice okay. He talked to me on msn at like 11.15pm then he started to count down, wished me happy birthday on 12 sharp and then he went to bed. -_- Was still up and my phone was switched off because it was flat, turned it on, and then viola! A greeting from Jolene. AHAH.

3 person threathened birthday bash today, damn you okay. LOL.

Let's all face it.


Change is something we can never avoid, and hence we should therefore just accept it and move along with life. Therein lies an ironic fact the deluded self would never belief, and that is that the deluded self is responsible for the change as well, especially for the people around that self.

I am not implying that everybody should give no damn to change, but learn to adapt to it and of course move along. It is normal to reminisce about the past but the line is drawn when you attempt to bring the past back to present, for the attempts are always futile.

Definitely, you don't blatantly curse and question the Gods and all things alike for the change that has happened to the people, things and environment around you for you are responsible for that change.

------
I have been getting very irritated by this individual, which we shall call, A.

I don't give a fuck if i am your closest friend or bestest friend or nicest friend or whatever-friend. You are just a friend to me, and i think i have said this many times that A should really stop trying to read toooo much into my secrets, because if i trust you and if i will reveal to you, i AUTOMATICALLY will. You can save your probings on your boyfriend, who is dead i presume.

There is a VERY thick, RED, conspicious line drawn between a COMPANION and a pal or a close friend.

A companion may be the one always by your side, PHYSICALLY and LITERALLY, but that does not mean that the companion can be trusted.

A close friend, or a pal, need not be together physically all the time, but yet, can still share personal stuffs as they spend time together.

I am still annoyed with your stinky attitude. You want attention, without showing that you NEED it.

I don't like you, so fuck off.

I really should stop Photoshopping aimlessly and start studying. AS USUAL....I'm too lazy to design for the SexInTheCity CD cover competition.

I think i bought the creativesuite at the wrong time, bloody hell. A bomb of moolah was spent on it and i am still using Photoshop for like, 95%, the rest of the programs will take me a YEAR or more to understand, what InDesign,GoLive, all the web design tools. CHEEEM.

And if that huge sum of money was not spent on the suite, MAYBE i could have bought a new mp3 player or something. Tsk.

I WANT TO BUY FLASH/3D studiomax / Cinema 4D.

=/

Kevin has enlightened me with a few things he said before he went to bed. HAHAHA. Er he's my friend, a very tall friend, who is a nice and humble but old person.

Because of what he said which fed my ego very much about the matter and made me feel so good, i changed my mind about ___________ almost instantly.

HAHAHA.

So now i am no longer a emo person who misses whoever-mr-suckface and lists down what she misses and all that crap on her msn.

Which brings me to another point that i abso-fuckin-lutely loathe people who forward me stupid SMSes saying the gates of Hell will open tonight and you have to forward this message to 20 people or else you'll die, and what not.

All the messages that mean NOTHING, when they still mean a price.

I know those fuckwits are usually 'rich', or so they think, since a SMS is only 5cents but it amazes me as to how i always hear them saying they sent a few thousands of messages and their parents are killing them.

You're like sending lame shit at the cost of shit hitting you.

Friendster testimonials as well. Who cares about having '10 years bad luck' with your relationships? As if there's a curse within that tiny byte of useless information.

BULLETINS are used to NOTIFY people of EVENTS, not those lame ass things la.

And the people who forwarded me stupid, lame messages and of course lame bulletins are usually people who always mix HOW and other questioning words like WHAT up.

Shows that they're dumb. =X

*Snarl*

*Happy grin*

I will be changing the layout real soon, since i have a very decent idea of what to do.

Now, time to go sleep so that i can work!

Had mass jog in the morning. Felicia is such a funny person. Keep wanting to run ahead and then abruptly stop. I banged into her once. HAHAHAH

Meiping(the fatter one LOL) was in front of her, and Fel said to me "Eh, meiping in front of us leh"(or something like that lah), then she proceeded to run and then cross a big step just to be slightly in front of her.

WTF, i laughed like hell.

Ran all the way back to the hall just to act good in front of the raven, although it doesn't really matter to us or to that mammal. HAHAHA.

Chinese lesson was a breeze, because I PAID ATTENTION. FULL attention. =) And i can say i learnt something please? Moral of the story : Sit alone in class. It does miracles for your grades.

Had maths, yadda yadda. Jiefeng was one hell of a joker. He sat next to me and then used my flexible rule to form some sick figure. <_<

After which was recess. Felicia was keeping us late because she had to finish her Literature homework, and thus we had no choice but to wear our pe shirts under our blouses, and we were wearing them in miss kong's homeroom somemore. Tsk.

CME was some boring shit.
Physics, did some heating experiment with Nicholas. Yadda yadda.

I screwed the emcee-thingy up. But don't blame me la, blame it on Mdm Kaur's handwriting =X
I couldn't see what she wrote clearly and i anyhow threw in my own words. WAHAHAHA =X

Okay whatever i'm going to revise now. =D

BTW my MSN has got problems, so even if i appear online to you(but my nickname remains unchanged and i always change my nickname), don't message me. Chances are i am OFFLINE. I'll msg you, if i have something to say to you that is.

And ANNNNNNN, seriously, sorry for turning you down for the uncountable-th time. I have no time to do your pics, and also because the pictures are in low resolution and are already pixelated, i cannot do anything, unless i resize them, but the pictures are small enough.

PAISEH OKAY!

There are strange, tiny sores on my leg, and also my arms.

A few of them. They were like tiny mosquito bites yesterday, and now they're swollen and when i press on them, it hurts.

WTF.

Anyway, didn't go to the doctors cuz i was fine by the time i woke up at 9.

However, i am plagued with phlegm and a bad bout of flu.

My voice is so coarse and husky, i'm afraid i'll sound like fuck when i emcee for the drama competition.

Beejeezus.

It's amazing how people change, when they are merely separated by a class, or when the friendship reaches a new height, chronologically.

I don't know about you, but i'm pretty sure everyone misses the past.

I believe conflicts in a friendship can be ironed out with the course of time, and if you choose to forgive.

It's all about letting go of hurt.

I have let go already. I wonder if ______ let go already or not. Because if ______ did, we can build the friendship back.

I miss you.
Do you understand?