I've just met the world's most HYPOCRITICAL, DRAMATIC, and LOSERIFIC senior citizens. They are probably so cranky because they know they're dying soon. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I don't see what is wrong with blogging as long as you do not write about controversial issues such as homosexuality, and ultimately politics. I AM JUST WRITING ABOUT MY LIFE, MAN. By the way, this blog does not have sky-scrapping traffic. The traffic of this blog is just like any other blog, and only my friends know about this blog.

THEY ASKED for my blog address, and they jolly well keep quiet if i blogged about them because they asked to see it. (: It's as simple as a-b-c! SO, the same goes for SENIOR CITIZENs whom are about to die. I won't say i'll be good if i wrote about you because you are dying. YOU ARE STILL TREATED LIKE MY FRIENDS - everyone is equal. No limitations!

So, if you asked for shit to be given to you, and it really is given to you, you don't curse and swear because you asked for it!

You googled Verbiagelover. YOU HUNTED FOR MY BLOG, so TAKE WHATEVER THAT COMES, man.

Plus, to my FUCKING RETARDED MOTHER, i will appreciate it if she just sees everything in a lighter, and humourous way. I've always said this blog is fiction to a very big extent. She whacked me so many times, and said i am a problem child, said why did i blog on the net, etc.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH BLOGGING? *GRRRRRRRRRRRR*

By the way, my COUSIN is a GRAPHIC DESIGNER, and i don't have to rely on *YOU to buy me whatever CREATIVESUITE. Go save it for your funeral expenses. (: GRAPHIC DESIGNER. He sold me his PS7, and what? You think he doesn't have illustrator and all? HE AGREED TO GIVE ME ALREADY. It is just my decision to choose when to meet him.

Seriously, i won't die. I am PAMPERED by *YOU, now i'm just not pampered. Not as though i will go live on the streets right. ANDDDD, the world doesnt revolve around LE GODFATHER. THANK YOU.

I am very 'grateful' to my mom for giving me that slap, because it just makes me realise how much of a slut she is to slap me while she is still on the phone with *YOU. Apparently, it's all toooo dramatic.

I'm done. (:

I'm moving to somewhere. ASK ME.

I think i can't sleep well because i am dehydrated! My lips are always dry. =/ ...And i know i had not been drinking water. Sheeesh.

So the tossing session in bed was such a long time, rather weird and senseless thoughts bubbled out. Such as changing my beloved username "Verbiagelover" that is always used for my graphics to "Mayl" because "Verbiagelover" this name has been used by some others to register for accounts and all, AND NO, i don't like it at all. Not even when i know its not theirs and all.

Secondly, my godfather thinks 'Verbiagelover' is something like 'penislover'. KIDDING. He asked me "Why your email so funny one? VerbiageLOVER, lover what?" and then i told him "Aiya..Verbiage means an excessive use of vocabulary ma..", that's what i love and do second-best what." HAHAHA.

He didn't believe. I told him to go check the dictionary. =X

I stand at the edge beholding the ovals and ovals of bright lights that seem to snake through the roads at high speeds. The unrelenting wind blowing against me, my clothes billowing backwards, as though beckoning me to take a step back. A speck of dust got into my eye and in an attempt to cover my eye in pain i lose my balance and cascade down the 100 storeys building.

Strange as it seems, people always tell me that it takes less than a second to hit the ground and crack my skull. In my case it seemed to be slow, and yet delicate as i feel the wind attempting to cushion me and bring me back to where i stood. As i pass each storey i catch a glimpse of girl weeping. Maybe, she is contemplating to do what i do too.

Time still seemed to be on a standstill. I began to think about the cause for my ending. Was it because i got badly burnt by this variant of love, hate? I loved, and then i hate. I hate all the things i'm not, for that is why i am hated for.

An excruciating pain struck me. I feel as though my lymph nodes were ripped out of me, my vital organs crying out in pain and shattering. I felt as though bits and pieces of me were still left up there.

I see a bright light, and there...

I am just bored.

Let me tell you something about me.

I AM AFRAID TO GO TAKE MY PASSPORT PICTURE ALONE.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

That is the most retarded thing. But i have to get my EZ-link card done by this week.

Because godfather's buying the creativesuite for me before he flies off to China for a holiday. He's going back to his homeland.

He was the first male child and his dad sold him off to Malaysia. <_< AND he was adopted and got ill-treated very badly, like getting bullied and looked down upon and such and thus he got so determined to work hard..he became..what he is now. =D

A happily retired ex-manager of natsteel. ahahahah

I've editted this entry.

Sudden enlightenment told me that i should be a good girl. Hey, really, you know! I want to be a good girl, study hard, and go to the Unis! I shan't meddle with any other cat-mice affairs, and go home early everyday!

I feel so bad for calling Clement a pimply faced bugger you know? *beams* Cuz everyone is God's creation, and we can't call them ugly people!

---

UHHHHHH. I'm not a nice soul, HECK. _|_

I salute Sunnybaby, what she said is what im feeling.
ANN, THANK YOU.

All these is from her blog www.sunnybaby.blogspot.com (((;

i just don't see a point in posting something up and then deleting it just because some people don't like it.
in the first place, it wasn't part of the plan to please people with what i write.

and we wonder why so many bloggers have either closed down their blogs or totally stopped blogging to the public one after another, despite the existence of 'fans', 'supporters' and good writing skills. and no, i'm not talking about myself, i'm talking about people like shuyin (lalalapom.blogspot.com) and michie (xanga.com/thesaripartygirl). *BIG SIGH*
i loved michie's blog. =(

maybe blog readers should stop reading too much into bloggers' words, i think.

ok, what should you do if you don't like/HATE a partcular blog? as the old saying goes, DON'T READ IT. if you already know that reading a particular person's blog is so gonna create so much angst in you and your little mediocre lard brain, then may i ask, FOR WHAT? WHY EVEN TYPE THE URL AND VISIT THE BLOG IN THE FIRST PLACE?? WORSE STILL, YOU REVISIT THE BLOG (WHICH MADE YOU SO UNHAPPY) OVER AND OVER AGAIN JUST TO SEE IF THE BLOG OWNER HAS PASSED OUT FROM A SEIZURE AFTER SEEING YOUR HURTFUL REMARKS.
now tell me, is that sick or is that SICK? THAT IS SO BIAN TAI.
heh, talk about the GREAT MYSTERIES in life. *slaps forehead*

Which leads me to another point, we can never please EVERYONE, not even if you are a hot babe and you show everyone your assets. I'ld rather i please those that i want to please, and those that are really pleasing people.

Of course i don't mean that by that i will go forth and mutate into Maddox who literally hates every single lifeform on Earth...but i'll rant about things.

Ranting about you doesn't mean i hate you. It is more to the caring side. Caring doesn't necessarily have to be positive caring as well though. CARING is generally and subjective.

Seriously, visit depthcore.com . You will faint upon seeing the awesome graphics.

Another guy would be crisvector.deviantart.com.

Go check them out instead of reading this blog or your bimbotic friend's blogs.

Teeheehee. I am a self-righteous whore. TEEHEEHEE. -.-
That was really random, but hey, i did nothing wrong! XD
No offence, but that rhymed so i blogged it out. REALLY LA.
Don't wanna waste bytes on retards HGAHAHAHAHA

I'm sorry for calling you dumb, girl, BUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS REALLY DUMB. You're still my friend and such, but it just pisses the rest of us off by seeing you hanging out with a murderer, understand?!

HAHA WHATEVER.

I am very...retarded because I AM STUCK AT HOME WITH NO FOOD TO EAT. AND I DID LIKE 5 QUESTIONS OF MATHS.

I have to buck up, duh.

Bitchbitchbitch.

My current happenings are really from the pits.

How can my godfather say that my graphics are 'fake', and the FACT is that i got offered a web design deal. It is a fact, and he said i made things up. I've had enough of you-will-never-change-lee-may-ee scenarios, and definitely the grow-up-the-hard-way techniques. ENOUGH OF IT.

Because my perspective of this whole lame-ass 'techniques' are that i'll just end up hating the rest of the people who want to 'discipline' me. I don't hate all of them, neither do i like them.

I know i should just stfu because all that that has happened to me on January the 18th(I have good memory on such things) were actually my own faults. I caused it, just like in this case. My godfather distrusts me because my grades suck, and NO, nobody else except me caused such bad grades and all, but the feeling of getting wrong judgements SUCK, especially after you try so hard to explain everything and that you are innocent all turns futile.

I still can remember the MSN conversation, 2 against 1. And i hate the 2 of them, okay maybe not hate, but sometimes the nightmares just resurface and i can't help but to bitch about them, like now. I'm sorry if you're reading this.
Enough of who's contradicting and who's not. NOBODY is ever that 'straight'. You'll contradict in the end. Nobody never ever backstabs. Maybe there is that one person who'll never betray you, but for backstabbing, EVERYONE DOES. And to think i got chastised for backstabbing way back then. UHHHHHH.

I know my goddad is trying to get me to sit down and study and also ignore my CCA. He is insinuating that my CCA is the cause of my poor grades. Kinda like, WTF? All of you can print this out but ask for my permission first. (: I know i am not commited to my CCA, and i'm not planning to because i'm forcing myself, i'll just be good and go for trainings but not commit to it. CCA, a cause for my grades?! RIDICULOUS. I would rather he say photoshop, heck, i am proud of that. Here he is, asking me to stay home and ignore whatever flagday/cca/holiday project/etc and study.

BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I have just learnt how to do something new in photoshop. I am happy and proud for/of myself for coming so far without much of tutorials.

I shall not move.

I just can't bear to abandon this blog.

I don't know why. <_<


I AM AWFULLY AMAZED at how desperate parents/guardians can be, in order to get me to study.

Take my godfather for example. He wants me to stay home and study, and even if there were, erm, maybe like extra lessons like art enrichments, he would rather i stay home and STUDY. He told me he doesn't mind speaking up if need be.

One of my friend's parents even wanted him to quit being a prefect.

WTF isn't it? HAHA.

Meanwhile, check out www.depthcore.com . The graphics there are so far the best i've seen, besides hejz and crisvector's. I've also realised the custom shapes in photoshop are there for you to twist and turn and come up with something new, really.

Seeing all these just makes me want to buy illustrator like almost instantly, but i can't have it untill i promised my godfather that i'll study. I don't wanna make empty promises.=/


And lastly, freckly people love me. Or maybe some, not all . ):

Retro baby, and loving it!

Recently has been crap. Godfather is mad with me because i can even fail art. I failed it because i didn't do any homework, and had CA marks as ridiculous as 7 bloody points only, and my prep crap work only had the final designs, so i scored 36/100 for the whole piece. HAHAHAHA.

I don't know if he knows this or not, but i hate art. I hate DnT as well and i hate it more. I don't believe Art can be practiced. Design yes, and that is why i love design and seems like im getting better and improving. ART?! Plus, education about art is just so damned wrong to me. You learn about the principles of art and design, colour balance, unity, etc etc. And how the hell do you draw/design if you keep having the principles on your mind? You are constricted, heck.

So... i am actually, very grounded. I can only sneak out. Mommy doesn't want me to go out at all, LIKE WTF. She wants me to 'stay home and study'. She forgot to hide the photoshop disk and delete PS from my computer though. (:

AND, i practically have to make sure i pass chinese as well. Screw it. Anyway my chinese teacher is some funny asshole. She thought our paper was gauged on a percentage basis and gave me 49/100. (I FAILED BY ONE BLOODY MARK OKAY) and when she realised it was /80, she proceeded to deduct 20 from both the numerator and denominator. HUH?! Like that also can?! I don't know. :S

I don't like mandarin. I don't mind speaking it but the writing part is just so off. Heck, in fact i'm even lazy to do my composition!

...I just want to photoshop. I hope this passion doesn't die. I don't know as well.

I need a new HDD before i can install the CreativeSuite. <_<

Before i buy the HDD i need to get my concession EZ link card replaced.

Before i even go and fill up the replacement card form i need to go take a passport picture first.

HOLY SHIET.

The saddest thing i did was to completely delete about 2000 images of BoA i had collected over the years. I thought through deleting them i can save alot of disk space and not have to install a new HDD because i don't know how to install one and i will have to trouble my sister who is very grumpy each time i ask her to help me do something.

TURNS OUT, all that pictures took up only 1GB.

...darn..SO SAD LA.

I don't know what to do or say about....

I've had enough of people who take things for granted.

Example : just because there are the invention of condoms, it doesn't mean that you can
have sex everywhere.

Example 2 : Just because you MIGHT be going over to this big company to work(maybe your cousin's company) doesn't mean that you can forget about studying. Heck, it isn't even confirmed that you WILL be going and you already are boasting.

This is frustrating.

Right. Nobody's going with me to the LaSalle Grad show anymore.

No matter what i still will go, even if i have to go there by myself. IT IS ALRIGHT.

The parent meeting went on pretty well, except that Jovyn and Abdul saw me screaming at my mom because she was nagging away. HAHAHAHA okay then went off to Funan IT mall to meet godfather. Instead of going to Jack's Place we went to Ajisen. I don't like the food there. I want jacks place.

Ate, and then went up to Challenger™ , I SAW ADOBESUITE! He said he will buy for me in about a week's time, which is a 'new' month because he doesn't want his credit card bill to be tooooooooooo 'expensive'. He is still buying it for me despite me screwing up my grades. My salutations to this kind soul. Bought a new keyboard for myself, a mouse for my sister, and also a membership at the Challenger. ;)

For those who want to purchase Photoshop i would advise you to buy PS Elements first because it is economically priced ( $100-$200max) so if you get sick of it you wouldn't feel the hole burnt in your pocket that badly...and also because it really makes not much different with other Photoshop(s). That's my recommendation.

Photoshop CS 2 is $1300. AdobeSuite Premium is $1190, with the Standard version at $919.

For those of you whom are interested in blogging and such, Republic Poly is holding a 3 day workshop on blogging/photoshop/multimedia on the 14th, 15th and 16th of June from 8AM-5PM. I am interested and i might go. ^^

This is not to be taken seriously.

The guy i love is hot hot hot.
Even though he is blighted with freckles, he is still hot.
His hotness is measured by the number of freckles he has.
He makes my heart pound madly,
My stomach flutter with butterflies wildy,
However, he makes me speak no Spanish*,
But vulgarities.
So hot, his hotness transcends all melting points of metals.

*Because of Shakira's "Hips don't lie", it is understood that when one says "She makes me speak Spanish" it means that the 'she' is very hot etc.

For the coming Saturday LaSalle will be having a grad show. It starts in the morning.
Miss Ng wanted to bring some of the Art students there but because of poor response she has cancelled it.

BUT no matter what, i am going to go there, even if i have to go alone. I CANNOT AFFORD TO MISS IT. I want to see poly/college's art standards and gauge mine against theirs because in case of any crappy things happening such as getting all F9s for my O levels i still can choose for direct admission.

Parent meeting later. Crap.

Uhhhhh...

Some people never learn.

They NEVER will.

So don't test my patience.

Another one.

New artwork : Vibrance. You can't see the details here, SO ZOOM IN! XD

Inspired by Xavier Teo and Peter Jaworowski and Madonna.

This is the toughest and most tiring work i've ever did. Heck, this isn't even completed! I cropped away the incomplete part. I am very drained.

You'd better zoom in and at least look at it for a few seconds! My hard work. =X Drawing squares and making sure the colours blend took me the longest time.
ZOOM IN ZOOM IN!



The crappy thing is, i found someone using Verbiagelover to register for some accounts. Guess i'd better start to think of something new.

I am bored.

Sometimes humans just love to escape from the harsh reality and from all 'poles' of negativity isn't it? Take the melting glaciers at the North and South poles for example. Scientists are all trying to slow down the melting rate and are thinking of ideas to save the Earth.

I would prefer if they put aside such actions and go focus more on maybe cures for diseases and such because honestly, there isn't anything you can do to slow down the melting rate.

We should just embrace that 'fact' and move on.

If other people question the people who are against the action of slowing down the melting rate, saying that we are being too selfish by not trying to save the environment they're probably nuts. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Go to 7-11 stores, purchase massive amounts of ice packs and ship to the poles and replace the ice?!

It is not an act of selfish-ness i feel. It is more of snapping back to reality. The good, old clean Earth will never return, unless it splits open a new one with all of us flung into black holes and dying miserably.

All these are the by products of the rise of technology that are said to 'improve' our lives. I think it is more of making everywhere especially the sunny little island here a heaven. Everything wants upgrades, lifts in every floor, sheltered walkways even when the distance is as short as 20metres, like my neighbourhood.

As if the UV rays would be so bad as you walk under the sun under a distance of 50metres. Heck, even if you walk as slow as a snail you wouldn't die please.

I hope you like this layout. I thought ALOT about this before 'embarking' on it. I pretty much like this one because i started everything from scratch for the first time and it turned out looking great . (:

Credit goes to sxc.hu (:

I'm physically and emotionally drained. My day went on rather smoothly, thank God. I've nothing much to blog. I'm too tired to blog about my day. Sorry.

You'll never know how much i want to run to you.

I have alot of insecurities even though i don't show it. Hopefully i've revealed some by blogging about this.

There's really no one THAT close i can turn to.

So lost, so unsure. I don't know how i'm going to survive my secondary school years, although it's less than 2 years before i leave.

Not sure of how i'm going to adapt to the everyday-go-home policy. Actually, my godfather wanted me to do that since the beginning of the year. I ought to do so because of some private reasons, and some because i want to buck up and probably go earn some money with PS.

2 new artworks.

1)Quit the quest for perfection.
We really should stop hoping and being naive that there would be someone good out there, yeah, there is. YOURSELF, and in some very fortunate cases, that one friend, that's it. It's an 'inside' thing about my life.

2)Accidentally in love?
I keep having the SAME(clothes,speech,EVERYTHING)recurring dream about me saying "I LOVE YOU" and hugging that moron SO TIGHTLY. Wah piang, i didn't ask for HIM okay. (*&(&*%&#

BTW i dont mean that i'm in love with him or whatever. The title suggest that maybe my subconscious mind likes him, BUT I DONT LA. &&*^^$&

*****

It is so good to see everyone believing that they can continue to do well academically. I'm happy too, because instead of procrastinating and not planning to work, i'm ALREADY doing my holiday homework. I don't care about the glory or anything because honestly speaking, it is your work. Nothing else.

I'll probably cease the 'challenge'. No point challenging. Abeit immature, yes i am saying i am immature, lalala. And what's the point when the winner is obviously NOT them that doesn't mean that i'ld slacken down of course.

83 last year. I believe i can do it again if i work hard enough. For the past 6 months i had been
- Thinking about my beloved <3
- PHOTOSHOPPING (Everyday i spend at least 1 hour on it :S)
- Fooling around
- Involved in alot of mess

SO IT'S TIME to get my act together. Not to forget, get my artworks onto some print work. If i can secure a web-design deal, then why not try for prints? Hmm.

Wanted to blog about the mundane/exciting affairs of the everyday life, but something changed my mind about it.

While on the bus, this old friend of mine boarded the bus. Her name's Bianche and she's a smart kid, and she got into a prestigious school like RV. (: Even though our conversation didn't last more than 5 minutes it felt so heartwarming. A smile, and a few expressions of concern and do so much to someone else's day.

The highest in my class for english were B3. 2 persons got B3. One was Jonathan and the other WASN'T me. I missed by one mark, otherwise i would have been a B3 holder as well. -.- Other than that, my results sucked although i would consider it good enough because i didn't study much, i only fought very hard that day. 36/100 for Art without the preparatory work is rather awesome to me, and Mrs Yeow actually said that my design is interesting, just that the lack of quanitified(?) quality work dragged it down.

HAHA, I GOT 29/80 FOR CHINESE. JI LAO SHI STILL LOVES ME.

Godfather happy, Verbiagelover happy. (:

LOL and i am so thankful that i didn't promise about getting Bs for all of my subjects and then get the adobesuite BECAUSE my grades suck, and if i were to promise, gosh, HOW SAD CAN I GET? So the very smart LEEMAYEE went forth and bought PS7 from her cousin. HAHAH.

My cousin is a graphic/web designer too. =D

I've moved on.

Reason being i dont understand why i am so into an imaginary person.

'He' is an imaginary guy who looks like the guy whom everyone knows i'm interested in. 'He' has a perfect, accepting character, which is the complete opposite of the guy whom everyone knows i'm interested in. Kinda confusing yes.

So, no point waiting because 'he' will never be real. THE MEAN ONE will never change. No wonder people call me "Ah Xiao" or "Siao Lang", because i am in love with someone who doesn't exist!

*GaspGaspGasp*

.......=)

I can only stare at THE MEAN ONE and wished that his character deep down was like 'his'.

About a week ago, this gay came on his knees and asked me

"MAYEE! Your photoshop skills are legendary! Do you mind if you do a layout for me?"

Seeing such people worship me made me FLY up to the SKY.

Of course, i didn't reject, i got fans leh!

So i did, and there you go:

LOL HAHAHAHA go zoom in, and you'll know why. :D

Actually, the story is fictional. =D

I love designing, and i would say that formal education in art kills the brains. Somehow, when we learn, our minds are constricted to just one meaning of an object, or a topic. When we think of rainbow, we make the link to the sun, the rain, colours and happiness etc. We don't seem to link it to other things unless we really think out of the box.

In short i'm trying to say sometimes education constricts the mind instead of opening it up.

Refer to this entry.

I have a phobia of designing when monetary terms are introduced into the picture. I keep rejecting deals that pay rather handsomely because i fear
a)Not designing well enough because i lack the inspiration
b)Not getting paid

Plus, i am only a 15 year old and even though i am burning a very very bright and hot torch for designing it is still a little young to decide where i am heading.

I can't take the thrills and kills of freelancing. You get jobs sometimes, and sometimes you don't. It's a pretty filmsy career.

I don't know why teens at my age are so 'on' to be a graphic designer. Maybe they haven't thought about the side-effects of it, and ARE THEY SO SURE they can handle a commercial project? Hmm.

Sidetrack : Godfather might be buying me flash. HOHO.

By the way i am real thankful to James for giving me a go on the commercial project and saying that i can always go approach him if i've decided to commit into work again. (:

Today's weater is sooo good, with gentle, cooling hints of air passing by as though it is regulated by the Gods.
AHAHA i dont know if that makes sense or not. =X

I made this cheer up for Mr AL :

"Alan alan you have artistic talents and balls as big as melons"

IT JUST CAME TO MY MIND OKAY! =D

Read through all of my friendster testimonials and sighed at the past. I'll try to forgive and forget, and maybe just remember the fun times. PLUS i am glad that i sort of managed to have good fun with them before everything fell apart. That's my consolation.

Well, we can't affort to want the past to play back once. We have to make do with what we have and just move on. What's left will be memories, and there can be no amendments done to it.

Just like me and him.

I don't want you to go. Maybe, you know i'm interested in you but i don't think you know that i love you. I can't imagine how life would be when i can't see you regularly anymore, even when we even talk but it does bring me some comfort to see you, to know that you are fine.

I'm really afraid of that day where you graduate and leave. Apparently i am trying to change myself to suit whatever taste of girls you have but i dont think i'll have enough time to transform.

This is the highlight of the post :

MUAHAHAHAHA

Dewi and Felicia went to play DOTA with some of the guys, and later i was dying to go out so decided to go meet them at Great World. Felicia went off to church before i was there. Sorry ah.

Met Dewi, and went to the arcade to play the House of the Dead. Great World City is always packed on weekends, and there were a large crowd of people surrounding the gaming machine. Long queue i presume. So we went off, walk around and settled down at the food junction to talk over some drinks and desert.

By the way GWC's Prima Deli 's service isn't good. Neither was the waffle. It wasn't crispy and all, and it tasted just like a soggy booby bread.

Went back up to the arcade and just as we were about to play, these 2 girls RUSHED in front of us and slotted their cards.Dewi told them we came first, but one of the girl(who so happens to love pink, Pink ROXY shirt, PINK ROXY BAG, and a gay skirt) gave us the look.

The look of a twit. She looked at us in a rather gentle manner, and her eyes spoke "Do i know you?" and her pupils went back to the screen. I was imitating her and making fun, she heard me and glared at me. I got mad and cussed a little, then they went off. HAHAHA

So we played, we died. And those 2 smart bitches RUSHED there and continued the game, smart huh. From then on they kept sliding their cards across the card reader, they are lousy. =D We played again, and died again. =X

Decided to go to the KimSeng park, my, that place is beautiful! Then continued walking and went to Raymond's condo since he stayed near that park. We didn't enter his home, we only went to the playground to play. HAHAHAH


Played on the swings like some kid from Africa who never got such 'luxuries'. Shared problems, crapped and went off.

THE TAXI DRIVER WHO DROVE ME HOME : _|_

I've concluded that taxi drivers are some weird people, my dad is a cabby driver too, sheesh. You have to give them one instruction at a time, not "Turn right then turn left"

I told him that, and he HALTED at the middle of the road, MY GOODNESS, so dangerous, and then he screamed at me

'WHAT YOU WANT'?

(*^&^$$#&i(^!

Lastly, we are happy people. :D


By the way WILL THAT GIRL please return me my $8, since i've decided to not go to MOS already and i think it is right that i should get my refund back, and do not tell my friend you returned me already when you only returned me $10. Thank you.

These are some random pictures :

CHEESE!

=D

_____________________________________________

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D
AL - The graphic designer whom i've always worshipped
*X - My beloved
BUTTAHARA - Haiqal's butt

BUTTAHARA says:
eh

BUTTAHARA says:
the pic jus now

BUTTAHARA says:
AL
BUTTAHARA says:
in the boat

BUTTAHARA says:
look at it again

Verbiagelover. says:
why

Verbiagelover. says:
on the boat meh

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

Verbiagelover. says:
i thought what

Verbiagelover. says:
why look again

Verbiagelover. says:
o.o

BUTTAHARA says:
look closely

Verbiagelover. says:
WHY

Verbiagelover. says:
o.o

Verbiagelover. says:
got what

Verbiagelover. says:
o.o

BUTTAHARA says:
wad i say is gonna be m18

Verbiagelover. says:
-.-

Verbiagelover. says:
say la

Verbiagelover. says:
middle fingeR?

BUTTAHARA says:
ok here goes

Verbiagelover. says:
?

BUTTAHARA says:
it's like he's receiving a blow job

BUTTAHARA says:
=x

Verbiagelover. says:
o.o

Verbiagelover. says:
HOW COME

Verbiagelover. says:
U IDIOT LS

Verbiagelover. says:
U THINK DIRTY

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

BUTTAHARA says:
hahah

Verbiagelover. says:
DIRTY MINDED ASSHOLE

BUTTAHARA says:
told ya it's m 18

Verbiagelover. says:
HAHAHA

Verbiagelover. says:
BUT ITS A FUNNY

Verbiagelover. says:
INFERENCE

Verbiagelover. says:
HAHAHAHA

BUTTAHARA says:
hahaha

Verbiagelover. says:
I WANT TO FIND

BUTTAHARA says:
if u see a guy receivin a blowjob while his sitting down, it's similar.

Verbiagelover. says:
more of his pictures la

Verbiagelover. says:
wah lao

Verbiagelover. says:
-.-

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

Verbiagelover. says:
_|_

BUTTAHARA says:
but if u havent see don search for it pls

BUTTAHARA says:
hahaha

Verbiagelover. says:
why

Verbiagelover. says:
how to search

Verbiagelover. says:
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Verbiagelover. says:
?

BUTTAHARA says:
don

BUTTAHARA says:
porn is bad

Verbiagelover. says:
<_<

Verbiagelover. says:
_|_

BUTTAHARA says:
haha

Verbiagelover. says:
i wanna add AL on friendster

Verbiagelover. says:
BUT I KNOW

Verbiagelover. says:
SURE REJECT

Verbiagelover. says:
cuz i dont know him

Verbiagelover. says:
-.-

Verbiagelover. says:
and vice versa

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

BUTTAHARA says:
are u trying to stalk him ?

Verbiagelover. says:
HAHAHAHAHA

Verbiagelover. says:
DONT USE STALK LA

Verbiagelover. says:
although it is

Verbiagelover. says:
HAHAHAHAHAH

Verbiagelover. says:
graphic designers

Verbiagelover. says:
get stalked

Verbiagelover. says:
LOL

BUTTAHARA says:
hahaha

BUTTAHARA says:
scary


********************************
I admit that i made retarded sounds. When Peachy picks a fight with Fifi he makes a smooching sound, serious. =X




PEACHYBOY has an obsession with ONLY THAT bottle, serious.

Today was... so-so, because i wasted about $10 on cab fares. I'm NOT going to take a bus because bus drivers are fucktards who DO NOT believe i am a student.

Tell me, 3cm heels, a handbag, plus some foundation and mascara, i look like an adult eh?

FUCK YOU.

I am tired so i shan't bother to blog with the pictures.

Another time perhaps.

*(&&*&^$^%&%*%@#$%!!!!!!!!

Even though i do not have longer than shoulder-length tresses and in fact i want to grow them out, I FEEL SO TEMPTED to grab a scissors and just snip everything OFF.

The weather is so hot! I perspired even in my sleep and i woke up because my neck was getting itchy due to the sweat.

RAWR.

I just remembered one funny thing. The POA paper was about to begin in about a few minutes..

Erwin : jiang qiu tai ! where is motor van ?
wilson kong : assets?
Erwin : wrong la..carpark la
Everybody : LOL

LOL. It was meant in accounts concept where it would be under assets, and he said at the carpark. LOL

I saw this website while browsing Alan Leong's blog.

It is a flash interactive website promoting their furniture in a creative way, such as through sex positions. A very fresh idea uh. (:

You can also do you own sex positions, like mine.


Abit cocked up. Pun intended.


"ooooohHh! Harder baby, harder! "

That was a joke.

I remembered vividly your smile,
but vaguely the memories we had.

Shot right through in a bolt of pink,
flushed hearts, sweet surrender.

Thought of you.
Looked forward to the merry-go-rounds.
Surrounded by an aura of love, peace, happiness, and you alone.

Time flew, the wind blew.
A small flame would be blown off by a strong wind.
But a bonfire, the flame would even be stronger.
Like my love for you.

Good things don't last, isn't it?
I wished i was given another chance to make things right.

......

HOLY BANANAS!

I put on 5 kilograms.

Five, Fcuking Kilograms.

Now, i am going to treat almost every PE lesson seriously, even though i may not enjoy the sport we're focusing on for that certain period of time because i shall take it as that i'm toning up.

Right, i shall go and buy more chocolates, baked beans and coke to indulge in!

I completely salute this and this.

Has anyone realised, that the rates for a good design is getting cheaper and cheaper? Clients care just about their damned money, and do they have any idea that designers contribute their heart and soul into every design?

A webdesign plus coding = $50.

DESIGN PLUS HTML, and you get only 50 bucks?

The clients we have nowadays are some irresponsible shitfucks. They think "Hey, i think i can start a t-shirt design business! Just get some designs and then here comes my money!". Then they go and hire designers at some low prices, $20 per design, and no, they don't pay them yet. The designers are only paid when the client's business makes money.

In many such cases the business fails and what happens to the designer's supposedly-there pay? GONE. They are not paid for their work.

Plus designers themselves NEED to have integrity. You worked so hard, you did so much, you studied graphic design for such a long while, and you're getting paid only $100 or so for a full design, with your design being their intellectual property but not yours? CRAZY.

You sell your hard work, and your artwork, and that's only about $500? There is some terrible shit gone very terribly wrong.

Artists, have integrity. Be confident about your work, and know how much your work is worth. Don't let people judge your work. Judge them yourself.

Every graphic designer is getting walk-overed. It's not just the amateur ones. It happens to the professionals too.

E.g. ABC company decides to pay $1,200 for a web template. Professional A comes along, but deems that his design gets sold for $1500, any lower than that is not considered. ABC company rejects professional A, because there are some no-integrity artists who will decide that earning $1,200 is better. And ABC company knows that there will and would be someone who is willing to eat shit if they are paid $1,200.

There, you go.

Clients only care about their money, and so is the irresponsible shit fuck artists with no integrity.

Anyway, on a side note, i've gotten out of the commercial project. It's not because of the amount of money i could be paid, in fact i am happy for that amount my client quoted, just that i am one who works for the passion, never the money.

ww.peepI kind of had a walk down memory lane as i walked along the corridoor of my kindergarten that was just a block away. Inhaling the familiar scent of the disinfectants, hearing the teachers straining their voices against the chirpy chattering of the little ones, or simply hearing a wailing child wanting to go home.

It appeared to me that i used to be part of the teacher's lives, as well as my then-little classmates. I used to be one of those who cries at the slightest things, and also has the most scoldings because i refused to stop talking to my then-friends. I used to be one of the reasons for their actions.

Now, looking back, i would say everything seemed like a dream. From running too fast and making an old lady lose her balance, resulting in an angry mother who hit me with her handbag, to a girl who is much less naive, i would say time flew by with the blink of an eye even when it didn't seem so back then.

So as i looked out of my window and into the kindergarten's vicinity, i saw many parents fetching their children home, just like how i was brought home too. I am wondering, what these children and parents alike experience in their lives. I am curious to know about their lives, and quite possibly wished that i played a part in everyone else's lives, be it a big or small extent.

In short, i want to meet more people.

I want to get away from Singapore,go on a holiday to other countries like Hong Kong. I desperately want to experience the kind of feeling whereby you know you can't have too much time with this person and you know you want to spend them with them. It makes you treasure the interaction the both of you had, and quite possibly allow the conversation to evoke into thought-provoking issues.

It's not that i am sick of my current friends, it is just that i wished i had the power to know what others are going through. Not necessarily help them. I am just nosey. HAH.

--------------------------
Ladies and gentlemen, meet my darling.

"Hey! Why are you snapping me?! "

"Am i adorabllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?"

"I said stop taking pictures of me!" Peachyboy is acting lost behind.

Fifi is more than a year old already, and i am afraid that he dies before my birthday. Not that there is a big difference between dying before or after my birthday, just that i'ld prefer to celebrate my birthday with my beloved pet by my side as well. My birthday is august 7, with about 2 and a half months more to go. Felicia go die

I like Fifi more than Peachyboy because Fifi just radiates this aura of amiability. He's a likeable one, and although he is not as friendly as his offspring he seems to know that i am his owner. He nibs strangers more often than me.. =)

Plus i feel that Fifi is a blur hamster, he is the sort who is 'dumb' in sense that he doesn't detect danger. He always manages to falls off the edges of tables, i don't know how he did that though. I always picture him crawling out of a cage that is on fire, with the rest of the hamsters inside scurrying for their dear lives.

Fifi knows me very well. He even knows who i like. I brought him to school, set him on the hall ground and my beloved happened to walk to his class, across the hall. Fifi scurried off in his direction, gosh, thank God he didn't scurry too fast, or else i would be embarassed. HAHHAHA.

He is the funniest, and most muddleheaded one. What's more, he'll never not mistake his dear SON as a DAUGHTER, and hump him sometimes. -_-

I never knew he had a blog! And it's a very well written one with minimal grammatical errors. Yum.

I keep sleeping today. I slept from 3pm to 8pm, then then 9pm to 12 midnight. All in all i slept a grand total of 9 HOURS, but i am still tired! Duh, slogging my guts out every night for the papers.

Actually, maths paper was easy...just that i didn't study hard enough. It's kinda like i understood their questions but i FORGOT the formula and stuff to find it. I'm not capable of a pass, but i am happy that my experience with mathematics papers have sort of improved. At least, i could think of an answer regardless of whether it is correct, unlike the past. Think and think, sink and sink.

I am not forgiving, though i'll try to. But the 'trying line' will be drawn when my DESIGN gets criticised impiously. Get this right : I won't be angry if you tell me nicely about the flaws of it, in a tone serious enough, not :

"Aiyo! Why this one got one speech bubble here ah? Wah, AI(love) somemore leh! For who ah?! Bla bla bla"

..The last thing i want, is to experience your impudence, that is, to be questioned or asked to shut up as i am on the phone. I can't forgive you.

I'll wait patiently.

Having waited patiently for 2 years, i think i can also do the same again.
Hopefully i don't give up one month later.

Now, this is going to be some top-secret.
Don't expect anyone to know,
because he is a mystery himself.

A wonderful one, that is.

I seriously regret not studying hard last year and ending up at the crappiest class. I dislike many of my classmates. Almost everyone is in a world of their own , and let me voice out a few things i am the most angry with.

1) ....Dumbness.
When i write about something controversial or offensive with disclaimers everywhere, there are bound to be a few IDIOTS from my class who will start to come and oppose me, without reading through my entry carefully and thus blurring things instead of clarifying. Arguing with me without knowing the reason why i started the argument.

E.g. me saying i've lost interest in my cca because of photoshop.

It can be interpreted as i've lost interest in my cca because i didn't get much participation.

WHEN I CLEARLY WROTE i lost interest cuz of photoshop.

Tell me, dumb or what?

2) Thinking just one way and thinking way too simple.
E.g. Just because i killed an ant accidentally people started calling me a murderer. Not that it happened, but you get my idea.

I am not saying that i am some intellectual-whiz-kid who knows it all and is excelling at my designing career and also in my studies. I would say i am more of a cynic and critic now, one who tries hard to see the pros and cons of everything that i come across...and i'ld definitely be mad if a person passes a comment about me without any substantianted stand.

Moody.

I am done with cleaning the house, now everywhere has a light hint of dettol detergent smell. Especially my room! My room smells more like a hospital now, i like it though. Makes me feel that my room is an environment conducive enough for me to sit down and revise.

I've not done anything for my mom on mother's day, so i take this big clean up as a gift. I blew all my moolah on.... nothing? I didn't have much money because the ampliflier-builder, known as the Godfather did not give me any extra dollar.

I also realised my english sucked ever since The Fakes cursed me, c'mon, just look at that blog post. And because of that it has etched a deep memory in me and i've lost even the confidence to right.

For example i knew the correct way to spell "amplifier" was "amplifier". But then i'll doubt myself and end up writing something even crappier.

Yes, i am victorious again but i'll not let loose. I'll run even faster on the EOY. Just they wait.

Defeat again, although the 83-60 something definitely was much better. Some biach didn't believe that i owned ***** last year and MAN, i will make sure YOU get trashed by ME as well. Actually i've been trashing her all the while, but i'll trash harder. HAHA.

I shan't update much because i am the busiest today. CHINESE(DRATS!) and MATHS paper 2 tomorrow, plus i have to clean up the entire house to make mommy happy happier.

I am so glad that after 1 and a half year of hard work and perseverence, my work gets rewarded. Not that i had'nt been approached to do commercial designs, except that the few people who approached me annoyed me so much that i turned down the deals even though they were much more well-paid.

How is that, having someone to hover about you and ask you "How is it?" every 5 minutes BEFORE you even have the idea to design, and finally when you have the idea they give you THEIR idea, which is a different one every 5 minutes too.

I am just so happy.

And i promise i'll never stoop as low as _________. What's the point of making the people you dislike like you? Gaining acceptance? Pathetic.

PLUS, POSSESSIVENESS IRKS ME.

My keyboard is on the verge of breaking down so pardon me for any typo errors.

The one i love
The guy i love is the kind one who never fails to smile everyday and lighten the mood of the people around him. He is the one who puts others before himself and helps with any problems his friends encounter. He is not a hypocrite who only cares about his own benefits and will not lie to his friends for the sake of gaining advantages. He is not judgmental and does not hate the one who loves him even though he might not have feelings for her. He is not superficial.

Yet, 'he' doesn't exist, or maybe 'he' does, but only his physical self exist. The character in his physical self is the direct opposite of the one i love. Wouldn't it be perfect if 'he' existed in another body and was real?

'Almost here'

Did I hear you right?
'Cause I thought you said
"Let's think it over"
You have been my life
And I never planned growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Why haven't I always loved you ?

Oh when I need you,
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cause you're only almost here

I would change the world,
If I had a chance,
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh, please, protect me

Bruised and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered, now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you ?

But when I need you,
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you,
I'm close to tears,
'Cause you're only almost here

Oooooh oh

Bruised and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered, now it hurts

Haven't I always loved you ?

But when I need you,
You're almost here

Well, I never knew how far behind I left you

And when I hold you,
You're almost here

Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted

And now I'm with you, I'm close to tears

Cause I know I'm almost here

Only almost here
---

I'm not asking for much.

A filmsy Facade Shameless attempt at poetry again
He, vile as a snake
Cunnin as a fox
Stubborn like an ox.

Hostile, a rogue he was
Selfish but for his advantages
Indifferent to love

She, known to his flaws,
Feigns ignorance to them
In love she was,
a romantical mayhem.

Clinging onto this filmsy facade,
her tears cascade,
down to his hollow heart,
dried up by his fiery game.

Goner.

___________
)(*)(^^$% The wednesday is not even an hour old as i type this. My counter is very funny, and so are you visitors.

Green - Pageloads / Blue - Unique visits(The number of people who came) / Returning visits.

WHY CAN'T THERE BE 1 MORE VISIT ON TUESDAY?! Make it 100 hits la! PLUS, did you realise the pageloads on monday were 106, and on tuesday it was 160? Same digits.

People in the pursuit of fame and acceptance. Who doesn't want fame and acceptance? That's right, people who are DESPERATE for fame and acceptance.

They eventually chastise others, others not from their clique about them being wannabes, unaware that they are ones themselves.

Behind that ironically beautiful facade of fun and bonds ultimately lies backstabs and distrusts.

YET, they once again chastise one another for being a backstabber.

FUNNY HUR.

Accounts (&*(%%&# have (&*&*(&%&^ alot of things to study about. All the concepts, formats, definitions and everything. I hate cramming.

I really wanna study hard and get out of this school. I hate my current school life. I am surrounded by the people i like, and dislike. Maybe only a few of you understand.

I don't know why my affections to an individual for the past year or more are denied.

I really think you're the best, the BEST. And to me you'll always be the winner for everything you do.

English paper was actually rather easy....except that i'm not sure if i can secure a pass or not. I found it easy because the questions that appeared were not from the difficult-to-understand passages and many of the questions were real direct, although the marks were real low as well.

I just want to study hard and get out of BM, really. BM has alot of liars, alot of them whom disregard my respect and loyalty for them.

I understand that people stereotype, and with skins of such colour combination i am almost immediately classified under the twit/bimbo/act/proud/slutty/whatever group.

If you go around, or will go around telling people negative comments about this design and yet have no guts to give me the critique which i will see as constructive comments btw, DON'T READ my blog. -.-

By the way, hotpink and black is the best combination for such metallic and glossy styles. Maybe only people who've tried the various metallic layer styles(and CUSTOMISED layer styles before) get what i mean.

I will most likely be busy so most likely i'll prefer some silence on msn unless it is really something urgent because i have *gasp* maths, chinese and accounts paper in the coming few days plus i have to work, like finally.

My first paycheck is coming, should be right? HAHAHAHA

Okay i shall go bathe and go to school. I didnt sleep! I completed my art and then went off to design again. Haha byebye.

Art and English paper tomorrow. *(&*&amp;%%&

I seriously have not done anything about art, maybe only one page of research, one mindmap, that's it. I don't like to draw whatever first hand observation. You practically draw out your researched images, blah. I'll jump straight into doing the layouts. And i'll use photoshop to help me. =D

Go to this tution website. HAHA i have an artwork gallery there, paiseh, i am called lalalabom there, yes that's xx's friend nickname. I wanted to maintain a certain level of anonymity(?) so i used something completely different, but it's really me okay.

I hate drawing. I regret choosing art, but then again, i 'm NOT good with technical work as well. I don't like hammering and all that, plus all my work would be the work of other people. In fact when it comes to just studying theories of design and technology, i will fail cuz i HAVE NO interest in carpenting. HAHA.

And when you call me i'll be there for you.

This blog had an exceptional amount of hits today.

Ehh.

So today the dreaded trio of papers finally went past, but i have to finish my art preparatory and experimental work today and revise for ACCOUNTS tomorrow. I'm zonked out, seriously.

I studied on merger, and not about the Sri Lanka conflict, and when i flipped the papers open...

KNNCCB!

"The citizenship rights were the main cause of the Sinhalese-Tamil conflict in Sri Lanka, do you agree? Explain your answer"

I LITERALLY DIED. The source based questions were pretty easy and direct, though i'm not sure if i'll even pass.

Physics and chemistry was easy. Easy in a sense that everything tested was all that we could find in our textbook. I'm not sure of securing a pass, but if i fail i've decided to THROW PHOTOSHOP aside and study, i'm serious. forthesakeofhim

Was doodling away during physics test, yes the very rash and dumb leemayee finished it within 30minutes so she started to doodle and then count how long she has loved ____ already, wah sial, 22 freaking months. That's alot to me, and in 2 months time it would be 2 years already! TADAH! Nothing to be proud of. =X After that i started to check my answer and corrected alot of them, heh, hope the corrected ones are correct.

Weibei, thanks for teaching me as much as you could, and as much as i could understand hor!! *smile*

Went to bmc with peixuan since i met her halfway while walking to the bus stop and accompanied her to buy her snacks. I bought century egg porridge, yum.

Then talked about that thick skinned freak, man, i can't believe anyone would want to lie about their HERITAGE. She didn't lie about her heritage but it was something like that. Gross.

For the first time, my godfather is asking me not to frequent Jack's Place not because of the pricey stuffs, but because I AM GETTING FAT. HAHAHA, he is asking me to abstinate from my favourite food, exercise and eat healthy food. Then i remembered this part "You can bring your friends go jacks place on your birthday la".

YAY. So i'm going to bring 5 of my closest friends there. (:

I'm so tired i really dont feel like doing my art. <_

The inspiration came right up to me whilst i was half-awake in bed, as in, it REALLY came, the image just came onto my mind, and thus the outcome of this skin was pretty good uhh. (:

Godfather told me not to burn midnight oil and go sleep instead cuz my brain needs to be fresh to think. But then if i lack the theory what am i gonna think? Of Dengke how i'm going to explain to my parents for the sucky result?! Siao.

So i still will mug late, or maybe i'll sleep untill like, 3am and then study again. One thing, i hate being alone in the middle of the night even when i know there isn't anything spooky. Just a simple sound coming from the rice cooker is enough to scare me. =(

I am still in a rather pissy mood, don't ask why. You know i just don't get why my messages to somebody of the opposite sex gets ignored, when it was plainly about the exam topics, and no, i do NOT harbour any romantical intention towards him even though he is a relatively good looking guy.

Plus i know i said something about having feelings for somebody in the green house, and almost everyone thinks it is him because i seem to be on terms with him , i call him nicknames and such.

What annoys me is the stupidity of people. What makes them think i like a person romantically just because i keep annoying him? I know it is generally true but how can the people just speculate from such a stupid action i did?Dumb, no?

To add on to the angst of this matter, the relatively good looking guy has also decided to make me 'not harbour intentions' of him by being very mean to me and all.

I like to harass people because of their responses, be it GOOD or BAD, whether they like it or not, as long as it is a response i'll continue to harass. What's more this individual has a range of different responses! FUN isnt it? Well to me it is fun. And then all the nosy, dumb individuals of BMSS decides to speculate and pass the judgement and then spread rumours.

THIS. IS . F-ING. STUPID.

I am angry because a friendship is sort of ruined, and also at the simple-mindedness of people i know. PEOPLE I KNOW, wtf.

Evening already, with my social studies barely done.

But first i shall do physics.

Sigh, i sense an all nighter again. WHY DO SCIENCE PAPERS ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME DATE AS HISTORY PAPERS HUH?!

I am very grouchy today because i lack sleep and when i think of memorising all that crap i just want to die.

So grouchy that i'm prepared to let loose at whoever who annoys me by the least thing. It's better that my msn contacts not message me, seriously.

Good morning. I can't sleep, probably because i had 2 cups of coffee, hah.

Listened to sad songs, cried again.

The meaning of love has been all messed up, but i can't say it's messed up because i myself don't even know what love is, isn't it? I think those bulletins or quizzes that say it is love when you do this and this and this are some misleading crap, and teens everywhere are believing it.

I believe the meaning of love(besides the ones in a dictionary) has got to be discovered by ourselves.

And i think i really am in love with him.

A few more months and it'll be 2 frickin years already, 2 freaking years of tolerating his denial of my affections for him, tolerating his nastiness towards me. Nastiness like backstabbing me to MY friends, telling the whole world he doesnt like me and so on, all in a vicious attempt to hurt me, nothing else.

I don't care if his minionshis dicklets are reading this or what especially the england-pro CLY but what i said above are facts.

What makes me think i'm in love with him? I can tolerate his nonsense and change myself completely if i want to although i'm still not gonna get his love i know. And..i have gotten crushes on people but eventually it's still back to him, which is something marvellous to me.

Before i get flamed for talking about him talking about who liked me and how i rejected them when i am an ugly, short piece of shit with scars over my legs, i shall end here.

Now i can't go on without you.

Before you continue reading, read this and this first.
I know SOMEBODY has blocked me on msn just because i mentioned about HER on my blog. I mentioned about her being very thick skinned e.g. you have ugly hair but you still declare proudly to the world that you don't understand why guys love to touch your hair bla bla IN A TONE implying that YOU ARE HOT NOT.

C'mon, if you're not happy with me you can just TALK IT OUT with me, not that i want to be friends with you but it just makes you more disgusting by blocking me when you know you're who i talked about. Are you guilty or you are guilty? Hmm.

I still don't get the whole i-am-ugly-but-i-have-more-guys-than-you thing.

How would you like it when you just meet a new friend, and then this new friend keeps bombarding you pictures of her ex-boyfriends? WHAT'S MORE, she is a short, hypocritical girl with fugly legs. =D

I've thought about this.

I suck.

Whilst revising it suddenly dawned on me that i am such a pampered piece of shit. My godfather rewards me for getting good grades - how RIDICULOUS is that?

My results are my future. They will be what i will have for O'levels, and also they will determine where i will go, be it ITE,Poly or JC, and what course i am allowed to take.

My godfather doesn't get any benefit if i do well, in fact, he has to spend money on me! Even if i score all As it can't be his glory he can't show off me to his relatives because i am not related to him at all. But here he is, encouraging me to do well by any means such as a $1000 reward if i do well for Science and maths by scoring all As.

HOWEVER, little miss spoilt brat is still not studying and in fact she has the audacity to still whine and fuss for the things she wants and still gets them without even studying hard.

Some might say i'm lucky to be so pampered, but i won't be so pampered when i grow up because i will be a roadsweeper living on scraps of food in rubbish chutes if i continue such take-for-granted attitude.

I suck.

Don't you think so?

There is something very wrong with taking stuffs from my godfather all the time, and no they're not just cheap stuffs. They're gadgets, they're cash, all when he isn't related to me from what i know and believe. And there he is encouraging me to study when i take everything for granted because i think my godfather will be there for me always.

TSK.

This layout took me about 1hr45minutes. I'm not happy with the image's outcome seriously. But i ran out of ideas... so.. i had no choice.

OKAY I SHOULD GO STUDY NOW.

I AM MISERABLE!!!!!

I have a sore throat, a cold, and an impending temperature.

(Sidetrack : Oh right, the radio just played Sean Paul's "Temperature".)

I've found my Social Studies stuff, thank God.

I wanted to blog about how i think i'm lucky and then this entry turned into yet another whiney entry. -rolls eyes

So as i was saying i think i really am lucky although sometimes life seem to have the worst shit installed for me that leaves me in tears and all, like the waves and waves of conflicts/misunderstandings in from January this year all the way to the beginning of March. Thankfully things are all settled now and i really like where i am.

Even sometimes crappy things such as being late already and missing the bus right by a few steps, going to the taxi stand and only to realise the 2nd bus came whilst i was in between the taxi stand and the bus stop and then to get my taxi SNATCHED for the 897905th time...

I think i'm still lucky cuz there'll always be a prize catch later on. Like being so late and mad on my way to meeting people and then having a hell lot of fun later and etc etc.

PLUS, my godfather being forever so nice to me even when he is'nt that rich like the past engineer-manager of Natsteel, Mr Khor. HAHAHA.

()*&(&%.

Good afternoon.

I have Social studies, physics and chem examinations on monday and i have not studied a single thing. What's more, chemistry suck because i do not know how to balance the chemical equations and i've left all my social studies-related notes/exercises in school or lost it all.

I'm so dead.

I'm sick. I hate it when i'm not sick enough to be excused from exams, but sick enough to be excused from studying.

I am so sorry for making you angry that night. But then again it was partly your fault as well. We need to talk.

The blogskins at blogskins.com that are top favourites are shit. Not all, but most. I don't get why a simple skin that can be done in 5 minutes will be a top favourite, and some are even 3 words "I love you" written in an ugly, font and they can be fave-d.

What's worse, these bunch of people think they're graphic designers. Quite a gross scene. I wonder how their employers would laugh if they submitted such quality of artworks as a resume.

I'd just finished washing my thick, dirty and smelly blanket. *Faints* I HANDWASHED it okay, but i can't guarantee that it's really clean, maybe just slightly better because it was so heavy and the water turned black within 5 minutes.
And, i'm not going to let my guard down for english paper 2. It seems to me that people are brushing up their english because they think it is so cool to be verbose and hurl profound, insulting vocabulary to their counterparts. -rolls eyes.

You call that GOOD english? Kiss my ass and then maybe we'll see. That's just being verbose and flaunting that you have an excellent memory.

With that, i'm going to make sure those people who think like that get their just. Just because they have scored better tests results than yours truly they think they've won, just by A FEW TESTS, in fact it's only by less than 5 marks! *HAHAHA*

Submissions, submissions

I have submitted a BLOGSKIN. It's nothing big, really. I used to submit blogskins but i seldom used blendings and all, plus this is the first skin of mine that had me using avant garde fashion images from foto-decadent. Quite a fresh idea, i like it.

By the way, i know my html there suck. However, here's my html tutorial for the few who emailed me.

If you ever wondered why people said i was a quiet loner back in primary school days and crazy woman now, let me share with you why.

Yes i don't deny that i used to have a flamboyant attitude that turned people off the moment i talk to them and i was really quiet. Nothing really interested me back then, and i was burning with resentment towards the girls in my class.

I was put down all the time cuz of my skin problem and i don't deny that i had low self-esteem back then. In fact it was so bad that i used to skip school because my skin problem was so bad and i would cry my eyes out at home.

What's more the girls were bimbotic or twitish sorts who would without fail give me the sickening look and then stare at me and make fun of me. I would say i was bullied in the past.

So, fast forward to the present. I found my primary school mate's blogs, and can i please go to a room and laugh and snort and fart because they're all mediocre 15 year old girls whose world revolves around shopping, boys, and money. That's not my perspective of life, seriously.

Plus, those girls who thought they were oh-so-pretty were actually so fugly. Here's one of my pri-sch friend. DON'T DIE PLEASE.

If you want to see more you can ask me for the links... (:

I'm really glad that i chose to be a loner because i would really be so screwed if i were a twit now, and even worse enter schools like Henderson. I doubt i'ld be able to study. I'ld be like them. I'm not thankful that i came to BM since BM still had sucky people like clement but at least i've made wonderful friends.

WHAT'S MORE, if i went to such schools who knows i would be a gangster who spews vulgarities 24/7, smoke, and fuck around. =X

Their purpose of living from what i see is still undefined. For me, it's graphic-designing.

And i'm really happy for that cuz i'm really on fire for graphic designing.

TELL ME they're nice. I spent about an hour on them. Credit goes to Fotodecadent and moargh.




A pity the image size was very small. I've already stretched it until the pics started to blur but it was still small. If it was big i would have submitted it for Emblem Magazine. Btw, emblemmag is searching for artworks to feature. Your prints must be at least 1200 x 1600 big. My artworks are only 1024 x 768 big. =/

Sigh. Meet, smile, play, talk like we've never talked before, everything was perfect, everything was so intense, and yet it ended so fast.

(I wanna let you know that I'll always love you baby..)

[Angelina]
Sometimes I think about everything that we've been through (come on)
And I pray that you would just open your eyes
I love you (I love you too, girl)
And I need you (And I need you too)
So please dont throw our love away...
(Forget me, girl)

[Nb Ridaz]
Since the day you and I snuck away to be alone
I knew from that night something special went on
It must of been the first kiss, you told me that
Nobody else in the world made you feel this
I felt the same way too, but nothing stays the same
Im sorry for the tears Im sorry for the pain
You were the one that always made things right
I promise you this though you got a friend for life
Maybe one day we can try it again
And maybe things can be a little different
So lets just kiss and say good bye
Cuz I really cant stand the pain to seein' you cry..

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

[Nb Ridaz]
All that is mine is yours thats what I said
Treat you with love and respect in every way
You want it I gave you, you need me I was there
Now you treat me like if Im not here
I loved you I need you, dont wanna let go
If you want somebody else please let me know
Can't take it no more, I feel Im dyin inside
Is this the price I pay for handing you my life
I know I'm not perfect but I truly cared
So if you wake up one morning and Im not there
Just rembemer I loved you, it will never be the same
Gave you everything and you threw it all away

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

[Nb Ridaz]
I gave you my good and my bad, my heart and my soul
My trust, my money, my time, what more could you ask
From a man even when times were hard I held out my arms
And held you and even accepted you through whatever weather
But now I feel it we're at the end of the road
Whatever we had now I gotta let go nights like this
I wish rain drops would fall to cover my tears
Wishing I could replace all those wasted years of loving someone
Who couldnt love me back and now again
I gotta start from scratch but I know
I've given you my everything

[Angelina]
I've given everything
I loved you endlessly
But when it comes to me
You don't even notice me
(Repeat)

You know, i don't understand how come a person could say "I can't take this anymore..i want to slit my wrist." AGAIN, i'm not against the person okay.

I understand that some people are so sardonic that they find pain equipoised to pleasure, and doing such sadistic acts just makes them feel happier.

But why is she just stating that she wants to cut her wrist? Isn't that stereotypical of youths nowadays? Little bit cannot then cry, want to die.

Youths nowadays think cutting wrists as something 'normal'. It's NOT. You might say that it isn't normal cuz that's what depressed people do, duh. AND THIS PEOPLE ARE NOT DEPRESSED.

I've never seen someone as.. dumb as this. PLUS, doing this is an INSULT, a MOCKERY to the really depressed people. How would you like it if you had cancer and then everyone around you starts to feign they have cancerous cells like you by shaving their hair off and such?

Please, if your life is bad, just end it. Don't have to declare to the world how bad it was, what you want to do but will never do.

I am bored. So let me list down the things that annoy me. Even if it's the things my friends, my close friends do, bear in mind that i dont dislike the person, i just dislike the action/idea.

1) Assuming that i wouldn't be talking/sitting with her just because i went to talk to other people. This one really pisses my ass off because how can one think that i've 'abandoned' them when i merely went off for a second to discuss about the exam answers? Pretty ridiculous, no? I'm fine with such weird behaviours once, but having repetitions of it just turns me SO OFF.

So in future, if she has a husband and her husband goes off to talk to his colleagues whom so happened to be female, is she going to divorce her husband?!

You know, i really don't understand how a person could be sooo jealous just because i went off for just a short moment to discuss answers. Like that also think i'm betraying you and sitting with another group? ARE YOU DUMB OR WHAT?! You know who you are. Once again, i'm not angry with you or whatever, but do come and tell me what makes you think this way.



2) Assuming that his/her literature or english is good just because he/she has scored better than me and thus is insisting to be the leader of all things. This person used to 'worship' me for doing well in english and literature and now i can see this person changing faces. Well, i might sound jealous in saying this, but you WON'T remain high up there. I'll come and take you down.

3) Rushing me and constantly asking "where are you" when i'm pissed enough and am already trying to be there on time. Where are your considerations, hmm?

4) Acting as though nothing happened when i'm significantly staring at you all the time and then trying to see if i'm really angry.

SEE, i told you i got rid of the fugly, twitish skin. I don't care if that cl*ra girl's skin has got thousands of downloads or whatever. I think it sucks.

Maths and Literature pawned me today. I'm prepared to fail. But actually i'm more glad than to not care because i've already gotten my ps and illustrator. -beams-

This skin took me about an hour. I was rushing through it last night. Hope you like it.

HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE.

I am very.. happy.

Even when my artwork may not be selected.

One of my graphic might be featured on a magazine. It just might.

It's something worth happy for, even when i might not get selected because at least the editors have already paid some attention to me, which is good enough.

I have 2 papers later and i'm still not in bed. It's 3am already! Gosh.

By the way i will be getting rid of this horrible blogskin within these few days. I've a new layout done, inspired by cocacola cuz i just had a bottle of it today. Give me some time to do the html and such. ^^

You know, i've just realised that all along there was someone sweet in my life, i knew he existed, i knew he was kind but i sort of ignored him for about a few weeks. Surprisingly, he is still there.

hee...ii justt changedd muii skiinn...niicee orr nottx nehxz? ii thiink iit ishh berii dee kawaii nehxzxzxzxz...hmm...

iilurrbedarlinx!

sobxx sobxx..everyyboddyy angrry wiit miie cuz ii typee lyk tiis..
shho sadd lorxz..whyy ddey anngrry lehz? ii alsho gortt fweelwiings onee dee lorxz..nebberrmiindd..ii stiill gorrtx darlinxx tto lurrbexx miie..hee...

horr, darllinx?

diie larx..toomolox gottx maths and litx testts lehxz..ii surree faiil onee..hmmx..muii
darliingx owaes doo berii wellx ferr hiis mathsz test onee dde worxz..ii alshoo mustt doo wellx..worxz..shho tattx ii cann peii de shang himxz...heehee...

darliinx ahh, ii lurrbee euu okaexz..muacksz!baobeii, ii noex euu cann do iit de worxz!euu can beatt iidiots lykz tatt clement humjii kiax! lurvvee euuu!!!

--

It took me 5 minutes to type that, no kidding. I just had a tiff with someone. I wouldn't call it his fault but mine cuz i was feeling really bad, oh well.

I am wondering why God chose to gave us free will. He gave us free will maybe because if he didn't, everyone would be living in monotony, and He would be above watching us, in monotony too, pretty boring isn't it?

He gave us free will, probably because it wasn't boring at all. You could see the 'characters' you 'made' lead their own lives, fornicating, thinking they can manage their lives on their own without any advice or help of any sort.

It's funny how people know that doing that is wrong, but they still continue to do it. Just like teenagers knowing their affections for their boyfriend/girlfriend/crushes are mere infatuations, yet they choose to call it 'love'.

Funny as how it seems, love is overrated in this social era. Anything, everything that comes with a strong liking is automatically classified as 'love. Whatever happened to the wonderful quotes of Shakespeare? Hmm.

Take me for an example. I know i've been infatuated with A for far too long. It's coming to 2 years this June/July already, and i know that i'll get out of this soon, except that i wouldn't be doing anything to hasten up the moving on speed.

Yet, i cry and ponder about when i would, or rather he would love me. Again, love is overrated. I am one dumb girl.

Yes, i'm feeling extremely moody.

I just came home. Today was fun, and seriously we're so addicted to pastamania. *Looks at PROTRUDING belly* <_<

Got harassed by some old and horny restuarant staff in great world. That restaurant is right opposite the theathre or something like that, anyone knows what restaurant it is? I'm gonna complaint.

Tomorrow is my MATHS PAPER 1. *Cues horror music*

However, my voracious self is at work again, leading me to Pastamania.

Belinda and i are PastaManiaCs.

We went there like, 3 times in a week?! Gosh. <_<

:D im still happy though, despite the occasional strong wind gushing into my room and slamming the doors, also slamming my spirit out of me and scaring myself.

Before i go let me share with you the very cute fifi and peachyboy's pictures again

To the few who emailed me on html tutorials, please email me again and tell me when you would like to have the tutorial sent to you, thanks! ^^


This entry(or rather thought of mine) is fictional. Any relevance to reality is simply coincidental.

To me, i feel that being the middle-man in a conflict is the worst thing on Earth. It might seem like the 2 other persons involved in the conflict are the worst since they have enemies, they get pissed off and such.

What i see is both sides coming to me and then lamenting on how bad the other party is/was, and being the person in the middle i definitely see partialfaults in both sides since it takes 2 hands to clap, and quite possibly 2 pairshands to start a war/conflict.

Of course clapping and a war/conflict is a different thing. Your right hand wouldn't wage war against your left hand right?!

On seeing partial faults, it is undeniable that the middle party will say something like "How can it say that?!" to one party, and "Fuck it man" to the another party.

I don't know whether to call myself, or 'it'(since it is fictional) a hypocrite or not, because it is unintentional hypocrisy.

There are many meanings to just ONE word. Like i've always said, word choice is something very important. The choice of words you use represent your tone, your attitude towards the subject, even if that wasn't your genuine feelings.

Before you break things down and analyse the words I used, please shut your fucking mouth up and then concentrate on the words i said, and definitely do not start spreading rumours first because apparently what you spreaded was false, even when the person in the subject used the exact words. Analyse and think, there are many other meanings to it.

Because of your stupid, lack-of-analogy thinking it has caused me quite alot of grievances, more to the amusement side though. I can't believe a 15 year old who uses quite profound vocabulary can't understand a simple word like 'break'.

Nor was the word break, neither was it as simple as break. There's a weak pun to it, and the pun is for the puny brained punk. (Wow, it kind of rhymes!)

You probably wouldn't understand such cheem stuffs, but wait, whatever happened to your oh-so-good vocabulary?! *Guffaws*

---

It takes two hands to clap, nobody is perfect, so just relax. Okay that was random, but yeah, tolerance is benevolence, not malevolence actually from what some people portray it as.

I typed a long post just now, only to realise it wasn't published.

Drats!

May the God be with us.

Ahhh. I passed Lit and English.

PHYSICS PAWNED ME.

EDIT : Look at the time. I SHOULD BE IN BED, but the noctural one in me is yearning to be high. I shall go and surf some gay blog. COLINANDKERO. (:

What do you do when you are stressed for the coming Mid Year examinations, plus being an emotional support for the sad people you know?

PHOTOSHOP.

I was meddling with a piece of foolscap paper and then this idea came to mind. Not exactly what i wanted though.

In conjunction with the Chinese papers coming soon, i urge myself to go cook up my chinese. I can't 'brush' them up because there isn't even a 'thing' for me to brush.

I look forward to going to school because that's where i can see my beloved :DPlus, i shall ignore the mean side of him

You leave me shivering in the cold, all alone.
I've been waiting for a miracle to happen like how it did 2 years ago.
I just want you here.

Why is everyone so sad? =/

Monday blues, hopefully.

I don't want my friends to be upset. SMILE. CHEER UP PEOPLE.

If there is an award that goes out to the most selfish family member, or sister, may it kindly be to me...

Because i'm not going to offer my sister my camera for her A'Level art.

Know why?

The very kind yours truly actually took the time(and effort) to charge the batteries for her, making sure that the batteries last long enough for her art.

THEN, i went to her bag to get my camera back.

Guess what i found?

A silver, rectangular device buried amidst books, and stationery alike.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SCRATCHES?

And i can't even find the pouch that i gave her. It was specially for the camera please!

*fumes*

The pictures in my camera are NOTHING related to her 'ART'. There's only self-shots.

WOW.

School today was actually pretty fun.

During assembly ngliping, karen and i were laughing at weining because he was revealing his boxers for the 76573532th time and what's more it was a pinstriped black and white boxers. Then Erwin got scolded by Miss Chong because he was showing his boxers too, and i felt amused because why didn't she see that Weining's boxers but only Erwin's ? And also because it was just funny la, you look at the guy infront of you showing his boxers with the guy behind you showing his boxers and getting scolded for showing it at the same time.

Then i got scolded too cuz i was showing the 'LOL WTF' face to erwin. <_<

Mr Satwant talked about being a wise exam participant and such, he showed us Mr Bean too! Ahahaha :D Quite a good way of keeping the student's attention i must say.

English lesson, laughing with jiefeng and laichoon at the back again. They were talking about incest and beastiality(sp?) with jokes about jf screwing his sister(WTF). Jonliew was complaining because his earlobe seemed to have a lump and he said it could be a malignant cancerous cell HAHAHA. Then wilson kong said maybe it was because someone fucked his ear and left the condom there. LOL.

Recess, laughed with Belinda over that bitch bhb woman.

Chinese, laughing with belinda over the silliest things again. I choked on my drink and people thought i cried. -.-

Art was pretty boring. =/

After school, went to Belinda to HARBOURFRONT, PASTAMANIA again! This time she had her pizza and i had my chicken bolognese again, except that we shared another pizza. I'm not really full, but i have a SORE THROAT already. <_< Man, i love pastamania, really. The taste of cheese with the bolognese, yummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

So that was it for today.

I have found the designer(s) who did the Nokia Amour series! Yay!

Go look at it, it's really awesome. *Hyperventilates*

www.stardust.tv (: